I have a child arrangement order in place for my 18 month child in the order it’s states myself and the father agree to do the drop off at a desnated place which is at a supermarket car park my x is causing problems at drop being abusive and it’s causing me undue stress and I dread this every weekend he keeps reporting me to social services saying I am unfit he has told my sons nursery the same I have been spat at and the police say there’s not a lot they can do if the cameras don’t show the incident am I breaking the order if I get someone else to do the pick up and drop offs I am speaking to a solicitor to get a variant on the court arrangement order but I can’t afford to go back to the courts I am so scared I don’t know what to do for the best he is very clever and is careful how he does things at the drop offs I have tried recording him but it isn’t any good I am so worried my mental health is so bad and I need help I don’t want to keep seeing him every week what can I do please some advice please
My ex was the same I felt everything your feeling! It’s the worst feeling in the world! I had to go to the police every time he was abusive to me and ended up getting an undertaking order which is similar to an injunction. He still causes me problems but it is a little easier not having contact with him! Try and hide your phone and record what he does and says to u, unfortunately I didn’t and wish I had now then u have proof of what he’s doing to you! Really feel for you x
Hi fergie, It is absolutely fine to get someone else to do pick up and drop offs if you dont want to. It would be very hard at this stage to vary the order without any evidence . When your baby a bit older you would be able to get dad to pick up from nursery/school instead and drop back to nursery/school so there would then be no contact in person.
If you cant get someone to do handover you could meet right outside supermarket front entrance to reduce conflict as there would be lots of people close by.
If ex complains you can then say if you can do handovers amicably we can go back to car park and do them.
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