My ex left about 5 weeks ago and abandoned all his responsibilities apart from financial. I found out he cheated but he has not spoken to me since. He has only spoken to his children on a few occasions. I sent him about 10 messages on his email about him abandoning his children and he 0reported me to the Police who said to obtain legal advice which I cannot afford. My son asked when can he see him and he said when grandma is back from holiday. This means he is planning on using her as a 3rd party to make arrangements which I am not happy about. I am doing everything for the boys and I am not refusing access but I want to ensure my boys have 2 parents who can collaborate. They are also asking for answers from their Dad about his cheating and I am scared he will explain things to them and they will end up being his messenger. At the moment I feel like just telling him to go through Court as I do not know what I can and can’t communicate about due to his complaint.
sorry to hear what you’re going through it sounds like so much! And very tough on you the way he’s behaving also sounds like he’s being very selfish! I don’t know if you’d agree but I would stop trying to contact him and wait to see if he contacts you. If he keeps trying to go through a third party maybe ask them to let him know the only way he can see them is if he arranges it with you directly. Also, if he’s not making the effort to see them himself, is it healthy for him to be in their lives at all? Head up, just make sure your doing the best thing for your kids and remember you and him are split now. Only talk about the split if the children ask and keep answers short and simple e.g. ‘daddy and I just aren’t meant to be together’, reassure them you love them but don’t make to big a thing about it. Hope this helps