Cheated on when pregnant. Now separated

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This topic contains 9 replies, has 6 voices, and was last updated by  LouJ86 6 months, 2 weeks ago.

Viewing 10 posts - 1 through 10 (of 10 total)
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  • #24260 Report

    LouJ86
    Participant

    Hi so 4days ago I found out my husband of six months had sex with another women 2weeks before our baby was born. I was suffering very badly with antenatal depression and was hugely vulnerable. I only found out by chance but it turns out they may have given me an STI. I have asked him to leave our family home and I know I’m not responsible for his actions however I now feel completely worthless and really don’t know how to start repairing the damage to my heart and mind. I need some help with my self esteem and tips for moving forward from this betrayal. Any advice appreciated.

    #24261 Report

    nshek
    Participant

    Hi,

    I am really sorry that this has happened to you.  Has he agreed to move out?

    #24293 Report

    MichaelMih
    Participant

    I had a similar issue, my wife cheated on me whilst pregnant, I didn’t find our until after our baby was born.

    I felt guilty only a few weeks after berth, but kicked her out, my daughter is with me, and I am looking to Apply for sole custody to avoid any future issues.

    Better to sleep in an empty bed than a Bed shared with others when your not there.

    #24298 Report

    Ramblinjon
    Participant

    Hiya,

    Betrayal is one of the worst things that can happen in any relationship, it leaves the victim with so many self doubts and has massive long lasting consequences. However you will get through this, just take one day at a time and keep reminding yourself that you are the victim, he was the one in the wrong not you, if he felt that it was over  he should of left you before going with someone else, if he didn’t think it was over he shouldn’t of done what he did, either way you deserve better.

    Mark

    #24315 Report

    ,jhkjhkjh
    Participant

    Hi, I have recently went through a similar situation. I am currently 35weeks pregnant with my partners second child and have within the past month found out he has been cheating on me. PM me if you fancy a chat or any support.

    Samantha

     

    #24328 Report

    LouJ86
    Participant

    Hi. He left the same day yes

     

    #24329 Report

    LouJ86
    Participant

    Thank you for those who took the time to reply. He left out home the Same day. Both mine and his side’s of the family are Being supportively of myself and the boys so I’m getting help. The night times are horrendous when the children are asleep and I’m left alone with my thoughts. My husband is apologetic and wants us to remain a family but I can’t and won’t have someone who can do what he did to us under my roof… it’s just very painful as I’m sure you all know.

     

    #24334 Report

    Ramblinjon
    Participant

    I totally agree, if the other half destroys your trust then any thought of a future is gone. After all if you take them back there’s nothing stopping them from doing the same again. I’m forgiving but sometimes you just have to say enough is enough, I’m worth more than the disrespect and the disregard your showing me, on your bike, you arnt worth it. It’s tough but you have to acknowledge your own worth.

    #24456 Report

    Ginger1002
    Participant

    What happens when there are already kids in the house- it is very difficult to kick him out. My husband of 19 yrs cheated on me and said that he wasn’t even sorry. He left and then asked to come back as he got really sick. I agreed and things have gone downhill again (he says that he doesn’t love me). Our boys idolise him and I don’t want to look like the bad guy if I ask him to leave. Plus my eldest has his GCSEs and I don’t want to disrupt them. No idea what to do.

    #24459 Report

    LouJ86
    Participant

    We also have a ten year old…who is upset but I’d rather the children grew up with two separate parents than in a family were there is arguments and distrust. Also I want my boys to learn that it isn’t ok to treat women this way… If I stayed it’s like his behaviour becomes acceptable. I’m heartbroken have lost my husband, the kids father and who I thought was my best friend. When in reality I meant nothing to him. It will take time but I will be stronger on my own. As will You if that’s what you chose to do. X

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