Cheated on, Dumped and pregnant! Long story.
29 March 2020 at 11:29 am #38466
Hi everyone, I’ve come on here for a little advice and maybe just to get everything off my chest that I’m not ready to get off to family and friends yet! So I’m currently 23 and have been with my ex ( split 4 days ago ) ( hes 27 ) 4 years we lived together at his parents for 2.5 years and we’re best friends we had the best time enjoyed the same things and very happy…so he’s always had a problem with taking it too far going out drinking with friends even through the week which I obviously was not happy about – sometimes 3/4 times a week which would end up in the same bickers every time he came home! Anyway- we found out We were having our first child ( unplanned ) but we were soo happy in January started planning moving out and buying little bits for the baby and our first home we couldn’t have been happier- the going out got worse he told me he was getting everything out of his system but this left me alone at his parents struggling with pregnancy and furious this was happening. I was at my mums and she had told me about a rumour she had heard about cheating..well this was the biggest shock ever, I instantly asked him why and where this had come from and if it was true- he promised it wasn’t I believed him and we went to sleep that night saying love you kissed and fell asleep- the next day I received a text from him saying the runour was not true but he had slept with a random girl after a night out a year ago and when I mentioned the rumour it all came back to him and eat him up again and he had to tell me, he said he wished it would have never happened and has wanted to tell me since but didnt want to loose me all though it has got too much the past few months and that’s why he has been drinking and out the house soo much as laying next to me in bed was hurting him and he couldn’t do it! We both cried for hours talking it was the worst feeling in the world for me. He then said he wasn’t worthy of being my partner he needed to be in his own and sort his head out he was a mess and one way or another this would end up ruining us and he couldn’t bare looking at me everyday knowing I know what he did to me. I have been staying at my mums on as we are saying lockdown and he is at his brothers. The problem is I’m 17 weeks pregnant and we both obviously are going to be a part of the baby’s life regardless- I’m just struggling- in one day I was told my partner was a lier and a cheat and had done something I never ever thought he could do to me – that we were over and on top of it all I’m pregnant scared lost and angry. I have to see my midwife this week and he’s coming with me- how do I act? Please if you have been through anything like this or have any tips advice feel free to help a girl out. Thankyou. Sorry for the long winded story.29 March 2020 at 5:26 pm #38479
What a pickle you’re in, bless you.
But there’s a way through any situation, and you should believe that.
I’m no professional, but the one thing that struck me from your story is this:
If your ex has now truly confessed to everything, and you’ve forgiven him (?), he should now be a man with a huge weight of conscience off his shoulders. In which case, you should be able to see a change in him – a change for the better. If he honestly loves you and wants to be a responsible father, you will see that in his eyes.
But from your story it appears that he’s using his confession as an excuse to draw further away, citing the old adage of “I’m not worthy”. It’s an ancient sad tale, and I feel for you.
If he does actually come with you to see the Midwife this week, then perhaps there is hope. If he suddenly makes an excuse and doesn’t appear – then you should be prepared for that.
As to how you should act? Don’t act, LB. Be yourself.
‘Cheated, dumped and pregnant’ you are not. Remember every day, that you’ve been graced with a marvel – a new human being inside you who might even change the world.
You’re going to be a mother. You’re a miracle about to make another miracle, and nothing in this world is more amazing than that.
And your family & friends will eventually come around to it. The sooner you tell them, the better.
-Cypher-29 March 2020 at 7:00 pm #38483
Thankyou for your reply Cypher- I haven’t forgive him we have separated but I feel I’m going through the motions at the moment, at first I felt lost without him and the cheating wasn’t really what I was thinking about but today I’m angry he has done this to me,all in all I want him to be a part of it all so would never not allow him or cause issues between us,but then again is that just me giving him an easy ride because I still have the vision of him being this person I could always reply on?!
I will be ok and get through this like you said I’m going to be a mother:)
thanks again29 March 2020 at 7:32 pm #38488
Try not to be angry, LB. Anger never resolves anything.
It’s the new person within you, that matters more than anything else.
You deserve to be proud,
You have a new grace.
I beseech you though, to tell your family. Tell your Mum, or Dad, or whomever you trust the most.
Secrets are not good for our souls, lass.
-Cypher-29 March 2020 at 8:05 pm #38491
Thankyou for your advice it’s easier to talk to others sometimes,I appreciate it
LB30 March 2020 at 2:32 am #38516
You’re welcome, m’lady.
God bless you and your little miracle.