Changing childcare arrangements advice?

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  • #57927 Report

    Savedbygrace
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    I know some people have more struggles but just wanting to vent and seek some advice. I love my daughter very much, and build my life around her. I run a business and a charity also, and have been single before I knew I was pregnant. Her dad was always very involved in her life with visiting daily. Since he met someone and moved an hour away, he acts as though anything he does is a favour, where I’m eager to have proper childcare arrangements in place. We agreed he would have her every other weekend and every two weeks he would have her for one night in the week- and he would then drop her back in the morning to me to take to school. So that’s Friday, Saturday and Sunday night every two weeks, and Tuesday every two weeks. I really don’t think this is much to ask and allows me some freedom with work, keeping on top of things and having some kind of life also. He did one overnight and said it’s all too much for him driving half an hour in the morning to drop her back. That he can do every other weekend Friday to Saturday (not Sunday night) and come and visit her once a week for an hour, so no midweek overnight every other week. It’s making me miserable that he doesn’t see we both have to pull together and put ourselves out for our child and to give each other some life. He has no burdens being able to work full time and makes a really good income. I have to juggle my business with my child and often feel overwhelmed and so just looking for some occasional space. I also don’t really want to see him, but have a separate life where I know he is committed to specific days and times. I don’t have any other help and I recently started seeing someone who I don’t want to introduce to my child yet, but would like to be able to see at least once a week. I’ve been very understanding of his need to build his own separate life and have often given up my times off for him to change things at the last minute. I really want to continue parenting in a caring way, but I’m feeling resentful and that he is being incredibly selfish. We both agreed from day one to put 100% into parenting and not leave the other one feeling burdened. There is no love lost between us, as we should only ever have been friends to begin with. I am so happy that he is happy and hoped he would see my need for balance and happiness also. His girlfriend who he now lives with has two children who my daughter really loves and I also feel stressed that she may notice him cutting this time with the midweek visit which he used to do until he moved. Am I expecting too much? Any advice as to what the courts would say about this?

    #57933 Report

    steve3334
    Participant

    hi,

    it’s good that your encourage him to spend more time with child. the courts would not force him to spend time with child on the days you would like. It’s down to his availability. frankly they would see no point in the court application. they are helpful when a parent is denied child contact.

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