Changing arrangements

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  • #49565 Report


    I separated from my children’s father in mid 2015 and we’ve been divorced since Oct 2018.

    Due to life stresses, small kids etc. etc., everything has been dealt with informally however it is starting to cause financial pressures and I feel that we need to renegotiate.

    He lives 200 miles away and we have usually met halfway to swap the children over. Even though I have been on benefits, then a student and now part time working and he earns a great deal more than I do. I have said that I often struggle to cover the fuel costs, yet he sees no issue.

    He has also ensured that he has the children around 53/54 nights each year to pay the lower amount of maintenance. The last visit, this lead to him refusing to return them until 4 days after agreed to ensure enough days had passed.

    I took him to mediation summer 2019 and he refused to attend.

    Where do I stand now?

    I want my girls to have a relationship with their father but his control of our lives with irregular contact and visits is causing undue stress

    #49578 Report



    sounds difficult. is there way where he could have the kids for longer periods so you do less travelling each month? unless one of you moves closer, not sure what more can be done.

    #49596 Report


    If you cant afford it financially then your ex will have to pick up and drop off children to you.

    You sure your ex wasnt having them 53/54 nights anyway before  a year . Surely there was no need to keep them 4 extra nights  to get to his quota without talking to you.

    Would you actually be phoning CMS over this? I would say probably not.

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