Can’t stop crying and overthinking

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This topic contains 5 replies, has 4 voices, and was last updated by  Kanger1 2 months, 3 weeks ago.

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  • #24172 Report

    jean Jeanie
    Participant

    hi there,

    my husband said he wanted to spilt up 7 weeks ago and had left the marital home 4 weeks ago, I keep overthinking things and can’t stop crying, I’m trying the no contact approach, although the boys wanted a day together on Tuesday which was brilliant, he just acted as normal and now my confused. We had our first sort of row last night, I feel like I’m walking in egg shells not to upset him, hoping he’ll come home, although he’s said he feels relieved not to be living a lie any more 🥺 I can’t seem to look forward, we never argued and I thought things were good between us, I just don’t understand and when I ask him, he never answer my questions….

    #24176 Report

    Kathymumofone
    Participant

    Oh God, that must be horrendous.

    Your ex is wrong not to tell you what the issue is, but if he has left the house, I think you need to assume that he has chosen another life in some way. It is good that he behaves normally in front of the children because they need to be reassured that both you and he still love them.

    Can you make a list of things that need to be sorted out regardless of what happens, and focus on practicalities.

    rent/mortgage, maintenance, child access, childcare etc

    Start to collect paperwork – evidence of  income, pensions, outgoings etc so you have an accurate view of what is necessary for you to maintain your children’s home.

    So sorry this is happening.

     

    #24177 Report

    jean Jeanie
    Participant

    He’s agreed to everything, he just went with a small bag of clothes, I’ve had to pack everything else, I went a bit OTT and repainted and rearranged the bedroom, boys beat the shit out of his wardrobe! The boys appear fine, because they say when there at his , they feel like it’s an adventure. I know people fall out of love , but after 23 years together he’s not even willing to try 😔

    #24193 Report

    jean Jeanie
    Participant

    Probably is…..🤔

    #24198 Report

    Hi all

    Justine here.  I have removed two posts from this thread as they ridiculed the discussion and were judgmental.  I am glad to say that comments such as that are very rare on this forum and we take action as soon as we can.  The parents on this forum have demonstrated how supportive they can be and I would encourage you all to continue chatting, talking and supporting each other.

    If you see anything that breaks the community guidelines please click on the report button or email me at groups@gingerbread.org.uk

    Jean Jeanie, here is a link that may be useful for you at this current time.

    https://www.gingerbread.org.uk/information/separating/

    Take care and have a peaceful weekend, Justine

    #24200 Report

    Kanger1
    Participant

    I am 4 months separated now but similar to your feelings at first. I entered practical mode as suggested above which has helped me and being on here too. Its unfair that he hasn’t explained why he wants to end the marriage. We did alot of talking including meeting somewhere impartial to agree way forward, I dealt with everything in a business like way. Its a very sad, stressful time but keeping busy really does help and it will feel better in time, I have reached the outside looking in point now and as hard as it is know that he did the right thing for both of us. I have just recently started with counselling sessions too which are brilliant for clearing your thoughts, most areas have options to self refer? Worth a look into for you?

    Hope you get some answers from him soon.

     

     

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