Can’t function anymore
23 November 2020 at 11:13 am #46110
Hi, I’m not new here – but I never find the strength/wit to comment..
I just can’t do this anymore, I’ve been on my own raising my son for 4 years now. – My mum and dad are not around, my sister’s are rightfully busy with their own families. Besides work and my son, I don’t see anyone else. I’m so lonely. I still miss my son’s dad so so much.
I feel like I’ve never been and will never be good enough. I try so hard to keep sane Infront of my son. I find myself going to bed as soon as he’s asleep just so my thoughts don’t get the better of me.
There must be more to life then this, right?23 November 2020 at 12:36 pm #46114
It is hard I’ve been on my own for nearly 8 years now I have two sons 7 and 10.
You are good enough and I bet your little son thinks his mom is amazing.
It’s hard and with this current pandemic not making it easier. I’ve been working from home since it started and talk to the team via Skype but not the same.
I’m sorry your feeling this way I certainly dont miss my ex and that’s a whole other story!
Have you got friends you can lean on? I sometimes have a facetime meet up with friends just to break the monotony.
Have you any hobbies or interests that you could maybe look more into. Courses online things like that to keep you focused or busy when your son goes to bed.
It will get better and its good you have reached out. I did last night for the first time I’m having my own issues but it was nice to get other peoples advice other than family and friends as I feel like it’s too much sometimes to keep talking to them about it.
Take care24 November 2020 at 10:10 am #46160
Been in a similar position myself for coming up three years now. It’s made things worse with currents events obviously, with not being able to do any of the pass times that have kept me sane before, but I’m ok, and I have to tell myself that a lot.
I have a tendency of slipping into depression if I’m not careful, so have to keep in sight the things I need to be thankful for, my lads healthy and happy, we’ve a lovely home, he’s started school so can play with other kids. A gratitude list maybe? Negative thoughts breed more negative thoughts, and before I know it, I’m overwhelmed with them.
I’m not just throwing buzz words and solutions at you, I know it doesn’t work like that, you can’t just change how your thought process goes, but with work, I can bring thoughts back into relative control.
Is it still your ex the person you’re missing, or the feeling you’re somehow less than because you’re not with someone? Or you miss having someone around? I’ve often thought about trying again with the ex when I’ve felt like that, and because I’ve been lonely. But it ended for a reason, and chances are, would again, so don’t want to make things confusing or any harder for our son than it already has been.
Have you ever tried meditation, or any kind of counselling? They can help bring things back into perspective and help get some thoughts in order. If you want someone to talk to in the meantime, just send me a message.24 November 2020 at 10:46 am #46161
Hi, please don’t ever feel that you aren’t good enough, that fact that you are here raising your son on your own proves that you are more than good enough!
It might be hard and sometimes lonely but things will get better, just the fact that you have come on here proves that you want things to get better.
I too feel lonely, people don’t always understand that you can feel lonely even though you have people around you. Things at the moment do feel worse but I think that is just due to the pandemic. Try and keep yourself busy then the negative thoughts don’t enter your mind
I’ve got 3 children (19, 17 and 9) and 1 grandson with another on the way.
If you ever need to talk we are all here for each other x24 November 2020 at 3:25 pm #46195
I second what the others have written above. Be kind to yourself! You are doing the job of 2 people and your child needs you happy.
Definitely reach out to more people. The more you do it, the less lonely you will feel. And loneliness doesn’t have anything to do with whether you are single or not. There’s nothing worse than feeling lonely in a relationship with the person in the same room as you!
It’s hard and it does feel like the hard times will never end, but everything changes constantly and tomorrow, next week, next month can be way better.
I second looking at online courses in something that interests you (Coursera has got courses even on the Science of being happy 🙂 let alone Meditation). And look at nature as much as you can. It always brings perspective to things.
Also if you force yourself to smile, you will soon find yourself smiling for real 🙂
Take care!24 November 2020 at 4:58 pm #46198
Hi I am feeling very low at the moment also going through separation, I am in a very difficult position though as my name not on mortgage or I haven’t contributed to bills but supported as a family with other contributions. I am currently trying to find somewhere to rent but so expensive and difficult on my own. I have two kids one age 12 and other 17.25 November 2020 at 9:32 pm #46252
The fact that your name is not on the mortgage means nothing. You are still entitled to 50% of the home and you can probably also keep living there with your 2 kids, at least until the 12-year-old is 16, if not longer. So don’t hurry to rent somewhere. Unless your partner is abusive / violent, in which case you need to get out as fast as possible, but then you will be able to stay at a refuge for free I believe.26 November 2020 at 8:30 pm #46292
I feel exactly the same, trying to raise for children alone. My ex is an alcoholic and has left damaging emotional scars to both the children and myself. I literally only get up each day for them.