Cant do this anymore

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  • #21897 Report

    Rach7805
    Participant

    Now ex partner moved on to new partner before we split

    Is being absolutely vile towards me

    Hasn’t contacted our children In 2 weeks been out of country with work most of last year . Calls me today to say hes collecting them Friday and bringing them back sat doesn’t know where hes staying with them but will find somewhere ! I’m not an idiot he has nowhere to go with 4 children aged between 15 and 3 plus our 18 year old ……. except maybe new girlfriends? Who he says hes been with since Christmas! Although hes been out of country since mid Jan and got back this last weekend

    Am I wrong that

    1- our 3 year old has attachment issues and i dont feel will be happy going off with him for 24 hours out of blue with no regular contact or calls these last 6 ish months

    2- I need to know where my children  are staying

    3 – ex partner says if I dont lets them go then I’m stopping him seeing them and he will take me to court…… so either his way or court way !!

    He said he would call them this evening and he hasn’t…… how can I let him just take them when he isn’t sticking to calling like he says ???

    It’s all my fault “I’m making it dificult” ” I’m not acting like a grown up” I should just ” get over it and move on like he has”

    I’ve loved this man for the last 20 years

    People have told me over that time leave him hes controlling

    He earns a decent wage but has only ever given me minimum maintenance payments monthly over last 18 years although we were together never shared anything never let us be part of his ‘life’ kept us separate from everything almost

    Next link are involved I have a community out reach worker assigned today to help me through but I just feel defeated by it all

    Just want to pack up and leave go somewhere we cant  be found

    People say times a healer but not only did he break my heart hes still wanting to hurt me anyway he can first with his words and twisting everything to my fault my doing etc and now with my children and his rights to take them as there father

    I just cant escape from him and dont know what to do. Dont want to stop him seeing them but my 3 year old needs to get used to him again surely ? How can he do that when like tonight he didn’t even bother phoning him 🙁

    Hate that this man can still control me and my children  even now were not together which was his decision

    Dont I deserve to be happy my kids to be happy? Whilst he was out of the country we were but now hes back making demands :'(

    #21899 Report

    BluebirdSue
    Participant

    Hey Rach

    Sorry to hear of your situation. Like you I also had a tricky ex partner. I used to hate letting him and his new wife (who he was seeing all the time he was seeing me), have him overnight. Everytime I tried to arrange maintenance or ask where he was taking our son for the odd night he would come back with a disgusting remark. Nowadays I let him come pick him up whenever he feels like it and he gives our son money. I don’t care anymore and we barely speak. What matters is how I am to my son as a mother.

    I hope this helps.

    #21917 Report

    Hi rach7805

    I’m sorry to hear that you are in a situation where you do not know what to do.  I’m hoping that the support from the other parents will continue.  I will be sending you a personal message with some signposting options that will hopefully help.

    Take care

    Justine

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