Can’t deal with separation

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  • #62011 Report

    Soxx361
    Participant

    Hi everybody,

    I broke up with my ex partner around 11 months ago there was a lot of abuse and it ended quite badly. He has not seen his kids in months and does not pay anything for them, he rings now and again but to be honest he does not seem entirely bothered to whether he sees them at all which really really hurts me.
    my ex puts this down to “he can’t see them because social services are involved” but I feel he could of done a lot more. When he was seeing them before the police and social were involved he was letting them down, not showing up on time etc.. I feel like he has no consideration for them. He also acted crazy for a while like stalked me and done some other weird stuff hence why I felt it necessary to involve the police as I knew it was having a massive effect on the kids and myself. I completely started my life again got a job, new friends and started to go out so I suppose I didn’t think about things too much.

    the strangest part is I’m 11 months out of this and I felt so strong up untill a couple of weeks ago I saw pictures of him and women and it literally knocked me for 9. Up until I saw them I was more or less fine but now I can’t describe the feeling. I don’t know if anyone has ever felt this but please tell me it gets better I feel like I’m grieving the loss of someone still alive. When I think about him it hurts my chest and I get an anxiety feeling, I always wake up in the middle of the night and have dreams about him moving on. I would never go back to him but the feeling is so awful I don’t know what to do to get rid of it. The saddest part is my ex still won’t sign the divorce papers which I feel just tops of the whole situation.

    Has anyone ever had this please and how did you overcome it.

    thank you x

    #62017 Report

    Mumoffive
    Participant

    I really feel for you. Im sorry I have no advice but I just wanted to let you know you’re not alone.
    your situ is similar to mine in the way your ex isn’t bothered about seeing your children not paying for them. He will see them but only when him and I are getting along ok. We’ve been on and off for 2.5 years. I really wanted us to work out but sadly he won’t do therapy (even though he said he would but he’s since changed his mind) I know the right thing to do is never go back to him and divorce him (he’s told me previous he’ll never agree to divorce). I can’t imagine how you’re feeling seeing pics of him with other women. I think I’d feel the same as you. That would really mess with my head. Here if you’d like to chat 😊

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