Can I amend a temporary CAO? Worried for my daughter’s wellbeing.

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  • #49712 Report

    Rosy Cheeks

    Hello xx

    So, we had a remote hearing and to cut a long story short we are having a section 7 done.  I am fine about it as it is my ex who is the chaotic impulsive abusive party.

    As it stands we split the school holidays 50/50 with the parent who’s weekend it is having the kids for the first half.  This is fine if it is him, but handing the kids over to him half way through is proving to be a nightmare, with the last 3 attempts ending in the kids not going to his.  Our daughter, nearly 8, gets hysterical and refuses to get out of the car, Dad is as useful as a chocolate teapot, and just watches he ordeal.  It is so traumatising for her.  However, when Dad collects them directly from school and takes them to his, although she cries, she soon calms down and has a lovely weekend with him.


    I have asked him if he is willing to make a slight change and him go first regardless of who’s weekend it falls on.


    I will not put our kids through anymore of these distressing attempts at handover.


    He has refused, saying he will only do what the court has ordered.


    But I am 100% in my reasoning.  It has NOTHING to do with je and my preferences, it is totally to a)minimise distress for the kids and b) to ensure they see him.


    Can I make a temporary amendment? Do I need to ask the courts? I really don’t know what to do.  I have tried doing it so my Mum and Dad take them to his but the same thing happens.  She says it is because she will miss me.  Dad of course is making out I am just playing games blah blah blah and using the kids to control him.

    Thanks x x

    #49722 Report


    Family courts wont make any changes until you go back for next hearing.  Because you both dont get on and things are hostile he is doing the right thing and just following the court order until you go back.  What would be a good idea is somehow you both emailing each other although i get this may not be something that is possible right now  due to court proceedings. There must be some amicable solution where your daughter can be handed over without getting so upset , maybe she picks up on the fact both her parents dont get on as that can make matters worse and even make your daughter more emotional .

    Is there a different handover place you can think of that might make handover less traumatic than the current place you meet?

    #49723 Report




    as cafcass doing S7, now would be a good time to contact them. tell them your concerns. I have used them as mediator to talk to ex.

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