Can anyone relate at all?

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  • #47154 Report

    AnneMarie2020
    Participant

    Hello, I’m new here.  I just wondered if anyone else is in a similar situation as myself. I have 3 children ages 15,9 & 3 and I am a single mum 24/7.  That is they have no contact with their dad ever and haven’t done since he left 3.5 years ago.  2 of my 3 children have additional needs: autism / anxiety and therefore my days can be tough with no help or break ever.  I personally suffer PTSD and anxiety and know no one in my local area, actually have no friends. My family (mum and dad) are of the age whereby they need me To help them rather than being in a position to ask them for help. So I’m rather isolated. Does anyone else have a similar situation or any tips / ideas to try and gain back some normality after my split 3.5 years ago? My children have become very used to having just me in the house for a very long time so although I know I could hire a babysitter I’m not sure they would want to stay due to anxiety needs my 9 year old has (and would this be fair on her). I feel like the last 3.5 years have been a complete 100 percent sacrifice of all things ‘of my own’ – even down to watching the TV (not done in years) to parent my children and although this role is very special, I’m so very exhausted mentally.  Watching social media and bumping into acquaintances just highlights how much I’m missing out on in ‘life’ so I tend to avoid and therefore further isolate myself further. Sometimes I bump into people I find I actually have nothing to say because my life is just the kids and with special needs it’s not all fun outings and amazing times, most days are hard regardless of what fun things I try and do. I’m dreading Christmas this year with no one special to share it with ‘another adult’ and no friends I can call on for adult conversation….and although I’m great at hiding this from my kids in order to give them the best day possible, I am aware I am constantly ignoring my own needs. I literally feel hidden from the world.  I do work – I run a fitness business from home (self employed means working alone) and I am also studying my masters degree (from home). I miss so very much the working world of being employed but can’t get back out there due to the appointments my kids need me to attend and the care my daughter needs during the days and night times.  I’m feeling stuck with no plan to make things better?

    #47180 Report

    Teacherman
    Blocked

    Hiya I can relate to you. It sounds like you are a fantastic mum and very brave and doing a wonderful job with your kids.  My daughter is autistic and has a rare syndrome so understand what it is.like.  happy to chat anytime   please do get in touch.  What area of the country are you from?  Speak soon I hope.  Dave xx

    #47190 Report

    AnneMarie2020
    Participant

    Hello Teacherman,  thank you for your kind words.  I live in Fareham, Hampshire.  That must be tough for you too with your daughter especially if She has a rare syndrome (so difficult for others to understand).  My son has Lower level autism So still in mainstream school but a worry and routines are strict to eliminate meltdowns, my daughter is being tested for ASD and has a severe sleeping disorder and severe anxiety.  She doesn’t do as others her age do and so she takes up all of my time day and night.  I then have a 3 year old who just because of his age requires high attention. I constantly battle with myself that each of them require more of me but there is nothing left to give 🤷‍♀️.  I think the hardest part is that others (even family members) don’t really understand how difficult it really is. Anxiety to the level where someone can’t even leave the house is (in my daughters case) is so crippling on the Whole household – thank goodness for Asda delivering groceries ha!

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