Cafcass safeguarding report

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  • #44093 Report

    singlemum1988
    Participant

    My ex has applied to the court for a child arrangement order on the bases of I’m mentally & emotionally abusing our child. I have lots of police logs etc that the abuse is on his part not mine but I’ve recently had a text from cafcass officer stating they need to do a safeguarding report for the court. This has obviously scared me because I’ve done nothing wrong but my ex is claiming I’m neglecting our child & their education is suffering etc. Hes applying to have our child taken off me & to live with him. I’m so worried about the safeguarding report & what they will ask me because I’ve heard good & Bad things about cafcass. Our child is adamant they don’t want to see their dad to the point they took a knife to their throat & threatened to harm themselves if they were made to see their dad. Social services are involved because our child told their teacher their dad had “touched them” I’ve been signed off work because of the amount of stress it’s causing me & our child but no one seems to have any answers to why cafcass are doing a safeguarding report against me when there is clear evidence we’re the ones who have been abused on many levels

    #44095 Report

    NewMummy
    Participant

    Dear singlemum,

    Please try not to stress, I know it’s hard but Cafcass are there for you and your child. I was thinking

    #44096 Report

    NewMummy
    Participant

    the same but it’s their job to speak to both parents. All you need to do is tell the truth and it will be ok. Your ex is trying to scare you but be brave and strong. I think you should speak to women’s aid, you’re not alone.

    Sending lots of love xxx

    #44099 Report

    Greenfingers
    Participant

    Hey singlemum1988

    cafcass are not ‘making a safeguarding report against you’. Cafcass are court appointed individuals whose aim is to establish exactly what’s happened within the family unit that’s lead you to the court room. You will hear good and bad reports, as with absolutely everything in life.
    Cafcass will provide an opportunity to hear your concerns and dads concerns, and depending upon the age of your child they will also be asked about their wishes if necessary. Usually, if indicated the child will meet the Cafcass worker a couple of times, one of which should be in a neutral place, usually school.

    They may ask you if you’re happy to discuss your concerns over the phone, if you have evidence to show them then I’d suggest you request to meet in person and show the evidence as otherwise everything you say will be classed as an allegation. They can not ignore evidence though can tell the court that you/he allege certain things. Then it’s at risk of becoming titt for tatt if you get my thoughts.
    Do not fret, just start gathering vital evidence that you need to secure your position as primary carer if that is your child’s wish and evidence that you’ve always been supportive of a relationship between your children and their dad.
    In many circumstances, child arrangement orders are a fantastic way of you being able to move on with your life having very little contact/communication with your ex partner, whilst each parent secures time to spend with their child

    #44102 Report

    singlemum1988
    Participant

    Greenfingers that’s what the cafcass officer said in their text message to me that they have to make a safeguarding report because of the things my ex has stated to the court. I have a letter from my victim support officer stating there has been domestic violence on his part. I also have a letter from the doctor stating I have been put on sick leave from work several times due to emotional & menta abuse which has caused me stress from ex partner. We have a social worker as well because of something our child has told his school teacher which they are concerned about & the police are involved. I could go on but the text message definitely stated that cafcass are doing a safeguarding report via telephone in October.

    #44104 Report

    Greenfingers
    Participant

    Yep, it is a safeguarding report on behalf of the court though not specifically ‘against you’. I’m not being critical. Like I say, In your position I would copy those papers that you have a hand them to Cafcass when you see them. Then it’s all evidenced and not allegations.
    Ultimately, if you can evidence what you say you can then both cafcass and the court is likely to agree with you. Just because your ex threw mud and initiated court action, doesn’t mean he’ll get what he set out to

    #44120 Report

    singlemum1988
    Participant

    Thank u. When he started all this it was just for contact which I did try to initiate but after I spent one weekend calling him 30 times I finally realised I was the one always doing the chasing. He only contacted me when his new partner wasn’t around. He then was arrested for attacking me & our child in a public place but has said it was false allegations. He hasn’t contacted us since which was over 2mths ago then recieved court papers saying he was filing to have our child taken off me & it stated in the papers our child lived with him but since the day our child was born they have always lived with me. It’s all rather confusing & it’s really made me panic

    #44132 Report

    NewMummy
    Participant

    Hi singlemum

    I’ve been through the whole court process and with Cafcass so if you would like to ask me anything, you can message me directly anytime x

    #44298 Report

    DadsMatter2
    Participant

    Going through the process at the moment and I have found CAFCASS actually supportive in that they are their to represent the court for the best interests of your children. Safe guarding report is just about making sure your children are safe and highlighting any risks the court need to be aware of.

    For the process, It is a good to write down a time line of key dates of events in the past with the kids but also going forward. Keep copies of abusive messages etc. Note down when contact is made but also how the children respond.

    The process is long (9 months gone and waiting for 2nd hearing !) – CAFCASS are likely to request Dr reports and police reports. The interviews with the children were actually ok and enabled our kids to give their voice. These held at the CAFCASS office.

    I wouldn’t worry about the safeguarding. I know its scary and very worrying but there is light at the end of the tunnel when judgement is past you both can move on.

     

    #44303 Report

    singlemum1988
    Participant

    Alot of the things my ex has said are not true though & when he stated our child would be better off living with him it broke me.

    Our child has lived with me since day one & I’ve supported him financially the best way I can. My ex has not contributed towards his upbringing since March.

    Our child has stated he doesn’t want to see him even taken a knife to his throat & said he would kill himself if anyone makes him go there which was a extremely difficult for me to hear & see & has made me question why he doesn’t want to go there.

    Our child has said he’s been physically abused by his dad’s ex partner & his dad’s current partner but no one seems to believe our child.

    I tried to initiate contact for several weeks but his dad kept making excuses so I stopped trying when I realised it was always me making the effort.

     

    #44307 Report

    TracyMoss
    Participant

    I understand your concern but just be truthful.My Ex who had not seen my daughters for 5 years reported me for the way I discipline my teenage daughters note i say mine and not ours,the social service man came and was really nice and agreed I was within my rights to give them an occassional spanking as I dont believe in grounding and he asked my daughters how they feel and they both said they deserved every spanking they got

    #44531 Report

    singlemum1988
    Participant

    It’s just getting so bad now. We haven’t seen or heard from my child’s dad in 2mths then he drove past the school the other day slowed down when he saw us chatting to another parent blared his car stereo to make his presence known then drove off. Our child got extremely worried & went into school & said he was frightened his dad was going to kidnap him. It’s very frustrating because what my child has told social services & the school about his dad touching him because he didn’t tell the police officer about it & said he can’t remember they seem to be thinking he’s making up. He’s constantly saying he doesn’t want to see his dad but his dad is going to court to have our child taken away from me to live with him

    #44532 Report

    singlemum1988
    Participant

    Plus I have been to doctors, victim support officer & domestic abuse worker to get letters written to provide proof of domestic abuse & according to my solicitor none of them are enough to get legal aid. I’ve not responded to the court papers because I have no idea what I’m doing with them. No idea what I have to fill out, sign or send back. I don’t even know what I have to take to court with me either. I hardly sleep because I’m trying my hardest to fight this but have literally no help at all or no one to advise me either. I just want someone to sit me down & say “right you have to do this, this & this” that’s it

    #44542 Report

    Lns1981
    Participant

    Hi Singlemum1988

    i found myself in a similar situation to yourself two years ago. The first I heard I was being taken to court was from a phone call & my first court hearing 7 days later. I was in a state of blind panic, not knowing where to go or what to do.

    my first point of call was to gather any evidence stating my concerns regarding my ex having access. All of your above mentioned letters are ‘evidence’. It sounds basic but you need to do a timeline of incidents with as much detail as you can & reference that back to the impact on the children. These are all your concerns you state to the Cafcass officer, I found it helped to put it in a folder in date order. My experience with Cafcass was a good one, I had an interview in person & found the lady to be very patient as I was very emotional as you will understand. They take notes & then compile their statement to the court. I took my evidence with me for them to be able to view. They will do the same with your ex.
    I too found I wasn’t eligible for legal aid & had no funds for help (due to my ex leaving us penniless) I found out what court I would be going to & there is a unit called the PSU (personal support unit) at every court who will help you with the process & filling out the court forms with no cost. They will also go into court with you if you want/need their support.

    I really hope this helps in some way as had to reply as I remember the feelings of what you are going through all too well. I’ve literally joined here today so if there is a message system & you want to reach out please do.

    i won my case by the way by telling the truth and basing it on facts not feelings!
    Take care x

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