Bullying

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  • #36497 Report

    Welshdad
    Participant

    Just recently discovered my son being bullied in school.  There has been long standing friction between him and this other kid (much taller) than him, but in recent months it appears this kid has formed a gang and is forcing other kids to do stuff for fear of being beat up, such as beating other kids or other acts of misbehaviour thst gets thek in trouble with their parrnts or teachers…and now has escalated to my son being punched on stomach.  The teacher is aware and the school have been told before but they don’t seem to be handling the situation at all to the point where I have felt the need to teach my son to defend himself  despite having reservations about any kind of violence.  Can anyone reccomend the best course of action to diffuse this now that the school are aware but nothing being dome?

    #36499 Report

    Kathymumofone
    Participant

    Have you asked for a meeting with the head teacher. I would write down all the incidents, meet with the head teacher and ask what their bullying policy is, and what action they will take to protect your son.

    Complain to the education authority or the academy trust if no action is taken.

    Being punched in the stomach is assault. Tell the head you will report to the police if nothing is done. Report the other boy to the police.

    What would you like to happen? Can your son switch class, can they organise mediation between the two boys? What does your son want to happen?

    Your son shouldn’t have to learn to fight. Make a fuss, be persistent. Be a polite nuisance until they do their jobs.

    #36500 Report

    Welshdad
    Participant

    Thanks Kathy.

    What I would like to happen is for the kid in question to be removed from school while his parents are talked to about it by the teachers and interventions put into place.  I’ve specifically told my son he is never to be violent, he is a small kid anyway and doesn’t stsrt trouble but my concern is that if at this early age he becomes a target that this will continue into adupthood and become habitual   The police I dont think would do anything in terms of a reported “my kid hit your kid” as they wouod see it as a matter for the school to sort while the kids are under their care.  It’s an idea though as you say because the school has had visits from them regarding safety etc (along with fire dept etc) so maybe a liaison officer or something just coming in to speak to the kids about violence, the seriousness of it and consequence might be a way forward as this addresses the problem as a whole as opposed tosingling out any individual.  There are obviously reasons for the bully’s behaviour and the hope is of course that this coward resolves the things that are causing it before anyone else is seriously hurt.  While of course my main focus is my son and yes it is difficult to think objectively after finding out he has been hurt, the anger and dissapointment is the fact the school’s soft approoach means no consequence for the actions of the bully so it continues.  So what I want to happen is simply for my son to not be bullied nor the other people in his school that are targeted by this gang.

    What is dissapointing is that oversll and with certsin things its a been a really good school.  I think sometimes taking a harder line to nip thongs in the bud is required thats all.

    #36502 Report

    Mummy2019
    Participant

    That is horrenous that your son has had to go through all this and nothing is being done… I would personally speak to the head and if you still don’t think anything is being done, go above the head and like Kathy said report it to the police is they still don’t do anything.

    It’s a serious matter which they should deal with. I really hope you get this all sorted. X

     

    #36503 Report

    Welshdad
    Participant

    The school and the head are aware and have been for a while. It’s an ongoing saga that seems to have escalated as the kids are older now so pushibg and shoving becones punching etc, and now it’s a gang as opposed to individual.  I think today’s “softly softly” approach and political correctness gone too far… where teachers are too afraid to intervene.  I’m of the school of thought that eventually someone will learn the risk of hitting other people is being hit back harder and hopefully pavlov’s dog theory will take its course.

    #36505 Report

    ayce
    Participant

    When I was bullied back in year 9 (many years ago), I switched classes. I moved to a new form group and bullying went lower. I also went to the library/computer room and lunch time clubs. I didn’t hang out in the playground during breaks and lunch because the bullies are in the playground. I don’t know how I survived bullying. So sorry about what your son is going through. Take care xx

    #36506 Report

    Welshdad
    Participant

    Thanks Ayce and Kathy and Mummy2019 for your feedback.

    Ayce that is exactly the kind of thing I am wanting to avoid.  A child (or adult for that matter) should not have to incorporate avoidance and change their lives because of the actions of bullies.  There is no excuse for it and it’s up to the school to ensure the values they are teaching includes self respect and respect towards others among other things.  It’s all good and fine them trying to lecture kids on safety issues outside of the school but if they can’t get their own house in order then this is quite hypocritical.

    My son was dropped off this morning by his mother and having talked to him it appears the school heeded my phone call yesterday and have taken steps to talk to the kids who have been victims to get an idea of what’s been going on and he said they were writing it all down.

    Apparently the ring leader was made to apologize etc however this has happened before, so I hope this time they focus on the gang aspect of it rather than allow the bully feel that he can do anything he wants and all he has to do is apologize afterwards and all is forgotten as this is no deterrent.  They need to tackle the cause of the bullying not simply make the bully apologize because with no remorse that solves nothing and if the bully themselves has serious issues that are causing him to behave this way (a home for example) then these need to be addressed as safeguarding issues too because the bully themselves is a child.  While their actions cannot be justified, it is in everyone’s interests to help all involved.

    Will see what happens in the upcoming weeks.

    #36509 Report

    Kathymumofone
    Participant

    I hope they are taking it seriously now.

    Bear in mind that the legal age of responsibility is 10, so if the bully is 10 or older, you and your son have every right to report an assault.

    And to be honest, they have more chance of putting the issue right the earlier they know about it. The fact that the school now knows hopefully means he will get some support too.

    #36510 Report

    Welshdad
    Participant

    Yeah they’ve known for some time, but it looks like they now stepped things up after phone call Friday.

    The bully is same year but he’s gotten people from the classes above involved too so good point re age of responsibility.

    Yeah the school councillor spoken to my son Friday he said.

    #36511 Report

    Welshdad
    Participant

    Thanks all for your response to this thread.

    Having re-joined the forum after quite some time away within the space of 24 hours I’ve been having problems with my account. Apologies for having unfriended both people in this thread but due concerns with problems logging onto my account, and messages going missing etc I  thought it best until this has been resolved.

    Please do not reply to any private messages from my account for the next few days until I get it sorted as I’m concerned someone else may have access to it.

    Thanks

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