Built on lies I feel any advice in regards to my situation
28 August 2019 at 8:29 am #29587
Hello I’ve been really struggling to come to terms with my relationship everytime I bring this issue up me and my boyfriend disagree argue to the extent I end our relationship everytime I have trust issues as it is as I broke up from a relationship few years bk with my son’s father he cheated and slept with his manager at work now we’ve moved on I accept it I still try to remain civil between my ex and his partner for my son’s benefit I’m over that now but it’s put trust issues in my future relationships the guy I’m with now I’ve been with him 2 years nearly in December I struggle to trust he knows why I have doubts I haven’t had the best times in relationships as it’s turned sour I’m always diagnosed with borderline personality disorder and I have depression and anxiety alot of dissociation I try avoid my triggers as I’ve had a horrible upbringing I’m trying to move on whilst leaving being in care so I’m trying to get my life on track I fell pregnant when I was 14 I lost my little girl she was taking into care my maternal aunt taking her on my daughter’s dad was charged with sexual assault on myself due to being over the age limit aswell as having experience with minor’s which is my first time I lost my virginity I was in care at the time I then meet another relationship it was abusive the guy was charged for assault in four attempts being threatening and abusive after my second I meet my son’s dad he slept with his manager I left that relationship now I’m with the guy I’m with my son’s only meet this one guy in-between I’ve always been there went to contacts I’m unsupervised with my daughter now 10 year old from my first relationship the guy I’m with had recently this year lied and lied his friend have advised him to lie if he wants to be with me my boyfriend thinks he never standed a chance with me knowing he knows my upbringing being in care due to abuse and neglect as s child my self by my own parents and the issues I now face in my recent relationships over s ten year period one of his friends slipt up about my boyfriend dating my sister she’s lied also about sexual activity and going with him they said they only knew eachother I’m gutted as to why I’ve been lied to again I struggle to trust I don’t live with him I’m a single mum with my son I live alone and stick to seeing my boyfriend Wednesday’s Fridays Saturdays and work round my son seeing his sister fortnightly my daughter and his dad’s side now he has 3 siblings it seems okay I never confused the situation by naming I’m confused myself as to my daughter calls me by my name and not mum but my aunt mum but I learned to accept my daughters feelings my boyfriend knows my worries he’s lied about going with my sister before me he thinks it’s not a big deal he can’t stand I finish with him as it’s little lies after lies it’s a struggle with trust he seemed sensible but this thing with my sister really bugs me if he lied about that what else will he lie about I’m really hurt if I had known sooner I wouldn’t have gone as far as this I have feelings it feels so difficult it’s like he’s only thought about himself he doesn’t realise I have a son to think of and my daughter it makes my mental health worse help please if anyone can share advise I don’t know weather to let nature run its course and learn forgiveness or cut all contact and focus on myself and my son for our sakes as I am anyway but I don’t want this to be a wedge I just want a future a family unit and to love and look ahead in life instead of dwelling on past issues28 August 2019 at 3:27 pm #29610
It’s upsetting to hear your story, it’s terrible that you’ve been through so much. I very much understand why you have trust issues and trust is something so easily lost. It does sound as though your bf might of hid the fact that he went with your sister to stop you from being upset over it, however it’s not something that should of been hidden, it was bound to come out sooner or later so him lying by ommision was not a smart move. I feel it would be very difficult to regain any trust so I’d be tempted to walk away before you get too involved and before he decides to hide something from you again. Perhaps if you do walk away it will enable you in time to find someone who can earn your trust.
Are you getting any help with your mental issues?
I hope the future is much brighter than what you’ve been through already.