Broken and lost
4 December 2020 at 1:37 pm #46625
Hi every one, I am new here and I am experiencing the loss of my marriage. I don’t fully understand why he has left but I am absolutely broken. He has not lived here for 5 months and I can’t seem to stay in a good place at all. The moment I do well, he struggles. At the moment I am struggling as I have begun to pack up the house of his belongings. It’s brought up many feelings and I am broken by it. I am currently decorating and changing furniture where I can so we have nothing we shared in the marriage and it can become just mine. It might sound harsh but it is helping. I mean I can’t replace everything but putting my stamp on things more is helping especially as I am a edgy person and love cool interiors it brings me joy.
I keep reading about being strong and not showing the ex partner you’re struggling. But the moment I do that, he struggles. In my heart of hearts I feel like he’ll regret it and it will be too late. But how long can I hold on to this feeling. Plus the heart break diet is absolute crock of s**t as I have gained weight not lost it 😭.
How do I put one foot in front of the other and keep going instead of falling flat on my face every time. We have a chikd together and a child each from a previous relationship and had 12 years of memories together. Loosing all that has been hell.
I know it will get better, I was just hoping it would of started already.4 December 2020 at 2:58 pm #46629
Hi, just read your post and struck a cord with me!
I have been separated for 7 months now and still struggle everyday but I think thats normal, well I hope so!
My daughter keeps me busy but still find myself falling on my face as you so correctly put it!!
Also interested in any advice5 December 2020 at 6:44 am #46649
It’s so difficult. The one person that makes me feel better is the one person who has left. He’s in a mess him self and I just want him home now.
I’m working on myself but it is so so so hard to keep going.
How are you?5 December 2020 at 9:57 am #46650
I’m kinda in the same situation. 12.5 together, 10 years marriage, 2 kids and he moved out almost 2 months ago.
The day he moved out, I fill in the spaces with my clothes and my things.
I think is perfectly normal the emotions we go through. What helps me is to let my emotions out. They are there for a reason. I see it as a process I must live. And although I miss him, I cannot wait for him to change his mind and put my life on hold.
For me, he left, he took that decision and as long as I have my children I will be fine.
So don’t be hard on yourself. Allow yourself to feel what you need to feel.
Focus on yourself, explore the possibilities of being a different person.
The best of luck13 December 2020 at 4:23 pm #46887
Thank you Cece.
Some days I m completely fine. Other days I find myself desperately wanting to talk and see him. Other times I don’t want to be near him.
I just want him to turn up and come home. It’s devastated me for so long and I know I have a awful year to come with the divorce ect next year.
You sound like you’re doing so well. That’s absolutely fantastic, I am envious of you for sure.
Thank you for the lovely response I really appreciate your time x14 December 2020 at 10:10 pm #46917
My husband left me 3 1/2 months ago. After 22 years together including 6 years marriage and 5 kids. Completely and utterly devastated, lost loads of weight and cry still all the time. Cant even identify a logical reason apart from he “needs to go and find himself” , whatever that means.
I’ve hoped and prayed every night that he will see sense before its too late.
I try and keep my head up when he comes to see the kids, he has made me feel worthless and I feel that I have let my kids down by not keeping us together . Half my life I gave to him, worked hard to give us a nice home, nice holidays, but it wasn’t and I wasn’t good enough.
So tired of feeling like this, I know the pain you feel, hopefully things will work out as they are meant to. Keep your head up and remember you are never alone x7 January 2021 at 11:27 pm #47775
My marriage kind of keeled over after 8 years,4 kids.(I was going to say ‘folded’ but that sounds far too crisp & efficient & organised).
I wish I would have cleared everything out straight away,instead it’s taken me Years,prolonging the agony.So many ppl here feel they’ve let their kids down,me included,but we haven’t.It’s not at all what we wanted & we really are doing the best we can to give them whatever they need.It’s taken me far too long to stop feeling so burdened by guilt.It doesn’t help anyone.
Only ever look back to see how far you’ve come.