Broken

Viewing 6 posts - 1 through 6 (of 6 total)
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  • #63078 Report

    Mango1928
    Participant

    Hi,

    My partner of 11 years had an affair, and left me and our sons for his new girl. No sorry, just went and never looked back. It’s been 6 months now and I am still completely broken, how and when do things start to get better? He still sees the children but only at my house (his choice), I feel completely broken, he’s off living his life with this girl and I am putting our children to bed every night, picking up the pieces. How does someone walk away so easily?! Atleast he see’s them, I know that’s the main thing but it’s so confusing for them not knowing where there dad has gone as he only ever sees them here.
    I just hate this constant feeling of devastation.

    Hoping someone who has been in a similar situation can guide me.

     

    #63107 Report

    Yazminpol
    Participant

    Sometimes people find it easy to disconnect from real life and move on to relationship s quite easily.

    It will be short lived as the honeymoon period wears off . It’s always easy to think that the grass is greener on the other side .

    Your partner will eventually feel remorse but it’s important that you find a little time for your self and concentrate on finding something different to do where you will meet new people e.g walking , voluntary work etc….

    This is what happened to me . My ex did come back but I looked at him different ly .he lost weight and became trendy to keep up with this new fake style .

    #63170 Report

    Mary22
    Participant

    My husband walked out on me leaving me to raise 3 kids, my youngest was 6 months at the time. Its now 9 years later and I’ve learnt a lot. Someone said to me that how people behave is a reflection of themselves, not of you and their opion is not any of your business or responsibility. It isn’t easy and 2 of my haven’t seen their dad for almost a year because of his behaviour. I’m learning to deal with toxic people  and situations better. It does get easier when you start to believe it’s his loss.

    #63181 Report

    Akay
    Participant

    So sorry to hear what your going through, I can totally sympathise with you. My ex of 10 years had affair when our son was 6 months old, when I found out he just accepted me leaving and moved on with the other girl. Although for first 6 months he never saw our son, until he split with the girl. He didn’t have own place so would see son at ours, that’s when he realised he made a mistake and wanted me back, that’s when it finally clicked for me, I was in control. I declined and agreed to be civil, but after few more girlfriends and visits at my house, he kept saying how much he regretted his actions. I knew by that point I was better of without him, although we don’t see eye to eye that often, I know I am in my position because I made the decision. He is now with another girl and new house etc, inconsistent with his son but blames me for everything. It’s hard seeing them play happy families, especially knowing I do everything for our son, but knowing I had chance to take him back and never helps me greatly in accepting things. My life isn’t what I had planned but like you, make the most of it and become the best woman you can be x

    #63182 Report

    jasperthomas
    Participant

    I have been in a situation like you and that’s why I can feel your pain. But keep thinking about them and doing harm to your mental health is not the solution. We have to accept the fact that they are already gone and moved on with someone else and living a happy life without us. Keeping this fact in your mind you have to work on yourself and as soon as possible tell this truth to your son also. Because one day you have to tell this to your son and it’s ok if he reacts something unusual. Give some time to him also to digest the truth and make him understand that it’s ok if your father wants to live with someone else. After telling this to your son you will feel relaxed and then you can decide what you want to do for you and your son’s future.

    #63254 Report

    I needaliein
    Participant

    Hello, sounds like things are really tough for you right now. They will get better in time. Be as kind to yourself as you can- you are doing a really hard thing and keeping it all together.

    Just a thought, but maybe it would help you if he took the kids out/to his house rather you having him at yours frequently?

    Initially we did as you are doing, but actually, over time I found it really very hard going some days emotionally, & more confusing for LO as it was so inconsistent. We needed time and space to settle into our new home and routines and process this big change in our lives.

    Also found I would be literally picking up the pieces after a visit! ex would come over, do the fun bits, but have no concept that things need putting away after being played with & bathtimes, homework and bedtimes also had to happen…it was making me resentful that I always ended up being ‘bad cop’.

    Failing that, having a supportive friend pop round to see you for a cuppa while he’s there now and again I found helped a bit. It’s a small thing, but just helped remind me that the entire world didn’t revolve around him & when he choose to visit or not (!)

    Hang in there 🙂

Viewing 6 posts - 1 through 6 (of 6 total)

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