Breastfeeding and overnight contact

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  • #59120 Report


    Hi there, my little girl will begin staying at her dads when she is a little older (when she turns 18 months). She has been breastfed since birth and she still feeds through the day and at night. She is also fed to sleep. Her weaning hasn’t been the best and I have had numerous conversations with health visitors who are providing help but I am still keeping up with breastfeeds. My ex and I agreed at mediation that he would have her overnight when she turns 18 months but this because I said she would be weaned off the night feeds by then. I genuinely can’t see this happening and I know she would be distressed without it. I’m currently living with parents and have tried me being out of sight and my mum getting her down but it’s literally impossible. I am more than happy for him to have her every other weekend but would it be reasonable for me to suggest that rather than having overnights that he has her full days every other Saturday and Sunday but without the overnight stay and then when she has weaned off the night feeds I am more than happy with overnights? I’ve also tried substituting my milk for cows milk with no luck! I know if I suggest this he will at first threaten me with court… what would the outcome be in that situation? I just don’t want any distress caused to my little girl but I really do want them to have as much time as they can together. I’ve always been the one to initiate contact and he doesn’t ask about her in the week or know anything about her routine or anything so I just don’t want to start this conversation until I know where I stand? Any advice appreciated!

    #59130 Report



    while I have been going through this, had to wait until child is 2 and a half years old until overnights started. before that it was day visits. that was through courts.

    #59308 Report


    I really feel for you as my little one who is 2yrs also still breastfeeds throughout day and night and to get to sleep, and while I would love the idea of a night off it doesn’t seem possible. However, when I’m not around when she’s at nursery for a full day without me she totally copes fine and doesn’t need any substitute milk. I think that if I wasn’t around then she would just accept it. So if your little girl has a good relationship with her dad then I would let them give it a go: if it doesn’t work out then you can suggest the other options in the short/medium term, but if it does then enjoy your night off and use it to recharge your batteries. (I’m also hoping to take my own advice soon and leave my little girl with my parents one night…we’ll see how it goes…eeek!)

    Fingers crossed for you!

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