Breakup and pregnancy. Very dark place at the moment
9 November 2019 at 10:27 am #32729
Hey, I posted about a month ago I’ve only just received the messages so Thankyou for anyone who sent me a comment about partner (now ex)not coming to scans with me.
<span class=”s1″ style=”font-weight: bold;”>about my situation.. sorry it’s long!
<span class=”s2″>I’m currently 27 weeks pregnant , second child(different father). Long story cut very short , me and baby’s dad met around 2 years ago it hasn’t been the best of relationships he cheated on me last year (I have all written evidence of messages from him from the girl but he still denies it till this day) I took him back. <span class=”Apple-converted-space”> </span>There’s been a few cases of domestic violence from him to me within our relationship he hasn’t touched me since being pregnant though. It was strong slaps to the face , pushing shuvving etc in arguments. When I found out he cheated on me I threw away all he’s clothes which were at my house (we don’t live together) out of anger which probs wasn’t the ideal thing to do but he’s actions from then till now he makes excuses saying I only do this because you got rid of my clothes and I’m still angry about it that’s including few months ago him smashing up my car windows from a argument we had about something small so he did that with me getting rid of he’s clothes from last year still in he’s mind. I never left the relationship when he lay he’s hands on me because I’ve always believed it wasn’t that bad there’s a lot of cases out there women be put in hospitals, black eyes etc I just thought I didn’t have it ‘that bad’. Anyway, this whole pregnancy has been so stressful. We are constantly rowing and then not talking for a week,making up then repeated cycle. He wants this baby he claims but he he shows no interest he hasn’t come to any of the scans with me etc we went out to look for prams the other day he wasn’t even interested.
we haven’t been getting on well for the past month expecially ; only seen him 4 times last month considering I’m with him nearly everyday. The Saturday just gone we met up he stayed at mine I dropped him off to where he stays the next day then the Sunday I went to a fireworks night with a friend he said come and pick me up after I said ok. So when it finished I tried ringing him few times the calls weren’t going through so I decided to drive back home in the end managed to get in contact with him he said why didn’t you just come to mine you silly c*** if you couldn’t get through to me I said well I’m not going to drive all the way to you without some sort of contact and he just started on me messaging me saying I’m a **** etc and he doesn’t want me no more then he blocked me. Tried ringing him about 20 times the next day he didn’t pick up just declined my calls. So I stopped and haven’t heard from him since , I’m struggling really badly not to not contact him I’m so depressed I can’t function it’s horrible. Has anyone got any advice on how to just leave this man alone and get on with my life. I don’t see a way out at the moment I’m in a bad place. Also hurts me that he has two other children been to all the scans paid for everything etc yet with me he hasn’t paid for anything. Why am I so different to the other women he had kids with 🙁 </span>
please someone help me. Been that down I’ve had to go doctors and have been feeling suicidle but can’t tell anyone Incase they think I’m unfit.
x9 November 2019 at 11:05 am #32732
If you are feeling this way you need to talk to someone.
Obviously as it’s a weekend it is harder to suggest who as I think your GP or midwife is first port of call.
Have you spoken to Samaritans?
If you feel that you may act on these feelings please contact 999 or your nearest medical establishment.
Speaking about these issues is your way of protecting your baby. Babies are not taken away from parents who speak about their emotional and mental state. Bottling up and reacting to it wouldn’t be healthy for you or baby. Mind offer lots of support re perinatal mental health https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/types-of-mental-health-problems/postnatal-depression-and-perinatal-mental-health/#.Xcacnbmnwew
They also have a helpline but it’s not 24-7. <span style=”color: #444444; font-family: Tahoma, ‘Helvetica Neue’, Helvetica, Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 0.938em;”>lines are open 9am to 6pm, Monday to Friday (except for bank holidays).</span>
<span style=”box-sizing: border-box; line-height: inherit; font-weight: bold;”>0300 123 3393</span><br style=”box-sizing: border-box;” />email@example.com<br style=”box-sizing: border-box;” />Text: 8646311 November 2019 at 10:11 am #32777
It sounds like you’re having very difficult time.
I’m one of the moderators here and we’ve sent you a private message with some information you might find helpful.
Sue12 November 2019 at 8:52 pm #32818
im new to this forum but please if you are feeling like this speak to your doctor and midwife.
i took the brave step today to see the doctor and ask for help. I’ve been feeling suicidal for a couple of weeks and was scared I’d be judged. I wasn’t. I’m pregnant and alone with complications over the father of my baby.
My midwife is organising help for me and my doctor is keeping in touch. It took me to have a breakdown at work yesterday to realise I couldn’t hold on anymore. I still feel that way, but knowing that I’ve spoken about about it has helped just a small bit. I still can’t see my way through the fog but we’ve all got to start somewhere. Xxx13 November 2019 at 4:52 pm #32832
Thank you for posting this. I am glad you have sought help and even though you may not see any dramatic change immediately speaking to professionals can help you to find management techniques that can help to take off the pressure.
For reference here are some agencies that can provide support for times of crisis:
• Samaritians – 116 123 The Samaritans are open 24/7 365 days a year – call 116 123 to talk to a listening volunteer about anything (they do not advise and signpost) https://www.samaritans.org/
• https://www.giveusashout.org/ TEXT SHOUT 85258 It is a 24 hour 7 day a week 365 day a year crisis text service, delivered by Mental Health Innovations. A team of trained volunteers support anyone in crisis (texter is phone based, volunteer on a computer), and the aim is to help the person in crisis identify coping strategies and get them from a hot place of crisis, to a cool calm place where they can safety plan.
• Mind’s Elefriends forum is an anonymous 24/7 forum with an app, to talk about whatever you want to a highly supportive, lively online community: https://www.elefriends.org.uk/
• SANEline – 0300 304 7000 SANE’s freephone helpline is open 16.30 – 22.30 everyday on 0300 304 7000 to talk about how you’re feeling http://www.sane.org.uk/
Hope that helps and I wish you all well for the future, Justine