Breaking Court order Agreement

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  • #15295 Report

    jimmyjay
    Participant

    Morning all

    Need some advice please

    My Ex keeps breaking the court order which was agreed by all parties.

    I have custody of the children and she has them every other weekend as she has moved back to parents house

    When she gets her own accommodation she has them for a few extra days.

    Now she has her own place she telling kids they are moving in with her which is not the agreement.

    Can I take her back to court and for her to pay my court fees as she the one who keeps breaking the agreement that’s in place.

     

    #15304 Report

    jimmyjay
    Participant

    Hiya Anonymous

    When it’s my weekends to have kids she intrudes by saying things like

    “Auntie Jane at nans (where she is living at the moment ) so kids want to go round instead of asking me first and I can’t say no because I become the horrible dad for not allowing them.

    Telling kids that they are going to live with her even though court order saying kids live with me which is confusing them.

    Sunday  when its her weekend I say I would like kids back by 7 as they have school tomorrow and need  bath etc .She says I’ll bring them back when I ready which normally ends up 9-9.30.

    Telling me don’t care what was agreed I see the kids when I want.

    Never bloody ending.Rant over lol

     

    #15334 Report

    LadyL
    Participant

     

    <span style=”caret-color: #454545; color: #454545; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 23px; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);”>Unfortunately you can’t stop the other parent from behaving like an “a**hole” despite court orders. It’s so frustrating but with the confusing comments etc you just need to be stable and clear at your end and manage that as best you can. Your kids will work out for themselves flaky behaviour at some point. More fool her long term! Re breaking of court orders. I’ve just taken my sons father back to court to stop contact due to ill treatment of my son during his care. I had to pay for the court application myself and after a Cafcass review and a period of supervised contact in a children’s centre  (where of course he put on Dad of the year show 2 hours fortnightly) they restarted contact. When we were back in court to review the court really aren’t interested in “bad behaviour” (and have no real powers there)  and legally while you as the resident parent can be held in breach for not making your child available for contact there is very little legally to penalise the non resident parent it seems  </span>
    <div style=”caret-color: #454545; color: #454545; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 23px; text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;”><span style=”text-decoration: none; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);”> </span></div>
    <div style=”caret-color: #454545; color: #454545; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 23px; text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;”><span style=”text-decoration: none; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);”>So I’d save your money and just manage the crap as best you can. I’m now using the “talking parents” messaging </span><span style=”text-decoration: none; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);”>service to confirm any change to arrangements. It might be useful to try and get her to use that so any communications are logged. In the meantime keep a record of every breach. Maybe you might write to her and just explain the kids are finding it hard without clear timings and the late nights are impacting them. (You can then record all your reasonable requests too) I use Evernote to log all abusive or confrontational behaviour. Text screenshots and emails etc and notes of conversations. Although I solely use talking parents now due to past abuse. If things get really bad and it’s <b><u>truly</u></b> affecting your kids (other than annoying late nights and inconvenience and confusion) then you do have power to stop contact. BUT take advice before you do that as that puts YOU in breach of the CAO and you would then need to take it back to court for a variance to the existing court order. At your cost. Honestly it doesn’t sound like you have enough grounds for that at the moment. Sadly you can’t legislate against people behaving like idiots and not putting their kids first. I feel your pain! Keep trucking, stay “clean” and businesslike with your ex, you sound like a Dad who cares and that’s great for your kids. Good luck.   👍🏻💪🏻</span></div>

    #15336 Report

    LadyL
    Participant

    Sorry no idea why all that html crap has come on the message. Writing from iPhone though. Hope you can decipher!

    #15337 Report

    LadyL
    Participant

    <span style=”caret-color: #454545; color: #454545; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 23px; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);”>Unfortunately you can’t stop the other parent from behaving like an idiot despite court orders. It’s so frustrating but with the confusing comments etc you just need to be stable and clear at your end and manage that as best you can. Your kids will work out for themselves flaky behaviour at some point. More fool her long term! Re breaking of court orders. I’ve just taken my sons father back to court to stop contact due to ill treatment of my son during his care. I had to pay for the court application myself and after a Cafcass review and a period of supervised contact in a children’s centre, where of course he put on Dad of the year show 2 hours fortnightly, they restarted contact. When we were back in court to review the court really aren’t interested in bad behaviour from parents and legally while you as the resident parent can be held in breach for not making your child available for contact there is very little legally to penalise the non resident parent. </span>
    <div style=”caret-color: #454545; color: #454545; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 23px; text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;”><span style=”text-decoration: none; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);”> </span></div>
    <div style=”caret-color: #454545; color: #454545; font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 23px; text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;”><span style=”text-decoration: none; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);”>So I’d save your money and just manage the crap as best you can. I’m now using the talking parents service to confirm any change to arrangements. It might be useful to try and get her to use that so any communications are logged. In the meantime keep a record of every breach. I use Evernote to log all abusive or confrontational behaviour. If things get really bad and it’s truly affecting your kids, other than annoying late nights and inconvenience and confusion, then you do have power to stop contact. BUT take advice before you do that as that puts YOU in breach of the CAO and you would then need to take it back to court for a variance to the existing court order. Honestly it doesn’t sound like you have enough grounds for that at the moment. Sadly you can’t legislate against people behaving like idiots and not putting their kids first. I feel your pain! Keep trucking, stay clean in communication and action and keep it businesslike with your ex, you sound like a Dad who cares and that’s great for your kids. Good luck.   </span></div>

    #15338 Report

    jimmyjay
    Participant

    Hiya LadyL

    Thanks for your help, Im getting really fed up with her.Now she has her own place the court agreement states she now has them Friday till Monday but unfortunately she has said that she has a permanent job on a Friday night  and cant have the kids, I ve made allowance as i know things change and said she can have them from Saturday till Tuesday to make up for the Friday .

    Then i find out she was actually out on lash with her friends  ???? All i want is her to be honest with me.

    She spends more time with our daughter then our son and  he ask me why its always my daughter.

    Confronted  Ex  she said cant take both kids out at same time as they want  to do different  things. Yes i appreciate there is 6 year age gap but it was never an issue before ????.

    #15342 Report

    LadyL
    Participant

    When the father of my child behaves like an idiot I just try to remind myself that’s why I’m not with him. And just keep doing the right thing on the things I can. She is going to be the parent she is going to be and all you can do is be the best dad you can be around all of that. I find taking a rounders bat to a pillow on the bed offers a pretty satisfying outlet when I’ve had a total gut full. It’s not fair. It often never is. But just be the one your kids can count on. Hang on in there! 🙂

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