Brand new single Dad and not doing well

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This topic contains 4 replies, has 4 voices, and was last updated by  TinaA 5 days, 13 hours ago.

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  • #27647 Report

    Chris999
    Participant

    Hi, my (ex) partner told me today that our wedding in November is off and it’s all over. Devastated doesn’t even come close. We had a bit of a rocky time 2 years ago which she now says she can’t get over.

    We have a 6 year old boy and I can’t be without him for a day let alone a few days. I know there’ll be no issues with seeing him but it’s killing me along with  the fact that I still love my partner madly.

    I’m a 48 year old man and at the moment I feel like a snotty 15 year old who’s been dumped by his first girlfriend.

    I have no friends apart from work colleagues, all my friends moved out of London years ago and we don’t really see each other these days. Just the odd text etc.

    I <b>never</b> thought I’d feel this alone

    #27649 Report

    ThreeDogtanians
    Participant

    Hi Chris

    So sorry to hear this. First of all – it’s still very early days, there may be a chance she will change her mind (if that’s what you want).i was very much in your shoes four months ago and things DO get sunnier. Even though as we get older friendships drift and everyone gets immersed in their own private lives your real friends will be there for you and support you. Have you reached out to them ?

    #27651 Report

    Jj19
    Participant

    Hi,

    You’re bound to feel indescribably low right now, I can totally empathise with where you are emotionally.

    I know it won’t make it better today but you will start to see chunks of light in tunnel as you go through it. I feel the same ‘re friends and that’s my thing right now but most of the time it’s ok to just get through the day.

    You’ll feel like a bruised auto robot for a while, possibly a long while everyone is different, but it’s ok to feel like that. I felt guilty for not being fun mum/friend but my kids and colleagues are understanding on the occasions I feel able to be honest about my feelings.

    As the other respondent said she may change her mind and if that’s what you want too then go for it and make adjustments and be happy. But that’s the important thing…you and your child’s happiness and sanity.

    Do whatever you need to to get through and use this outlet, it may not be face to face but putting it out there helps.

    I hope you can find some rays of light soon, look after yourself and your son and know that whatever you do is the right thing.

    #27653 Report

    Chris999
    Participant

    Thanks for replying, I appreciate what you’ve said. I can’t talk to anyone at the moment as I’m an emotional wreck and on the verge of crumbling at any moment. I’ve had to go out, obviously alone. Having a couple of beers. Going home soon as being out is just as painful

    #27667 Report

    TinaA
    Participant

    Hi

    my heart goes out to you. I remember exactly how it felt.

    Ask yourself this…. these friends who have drifted away. If one of them text you saying they needed help, would you? They will do the same for you. But you have to ask them. And it’ll be easier by text.

    you certainly find out who your friends are. Some will surprise you, some in a good way and some not so good.  But you will have true friends who will support you.

    And sometimes just focusing on how to get through the next couple of hours may be all you can focus on. That’s ok too.

    Use this forum, it’s amazing and helped me through some really tough  days. I’m 18 months down the line now. You can do it, even though you feel like you can’t x

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