Birthday present

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This topic contains 2 replies, has 2 voices, and was last updated by  Avocado9 3 months, 2 weeks ago.

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  • #27044 Report

    Avocado9
    Participant

    hello

    keen to get people’s views on this….

    My eldest turns 6 next week. Her dad is useless and hadn’t really thought about her birthday, he sees our children about once (sometimes twice) a fortnight (that’s as often as he wants to and for a number of reasons they are supervised visits). I talked to him about her birthday and asked if he would like some ideas of gifts to give her. He said yes, so I’ve sent him a list with some ideas of things she would really like. (Not expensive things, as he doesn’t have a full time job, he just has casual work, and he doesn’t pay any child maintenance).

     

    If I didn’t do give him ideas, she might not have received a present from him, or if she did, it would not be age appropriate as he doesn’t have a very close relationship with her  and has no idea of things she would like.

    Some of my family/friends think this was wrong and I should have just left him to it… and if he didn’t give her a present then so be it. They say I’m protecting my daughter from finding out what he is like and that it will be a harder lesson to learn the older she gets.

    Her dad and I separated last November but because it was all very recent, I bought the Christmas presents and said they were from mummy and daddy… so this is the first birthday I’ve had to think about it.

     

    Interested to to know what other single parents think!

     

    Thank you

    #27045 Report

    SOLOMUMMY
    Participant

    I don’t think that was unreasonable in the circumstances.

    I would advise family members what my little un may like if they asked/needed prompting.

    I see no point in “hurting” your child unnecessarily. It may actually be that with some guidance that over time you have to prompt less; if not surely it is better she receives  gift she’d appreciate?

    #27051 Report

    Avocado9
    Participant

    Thank you solomummy. I agree and that was my rationale for bringing it up with him. I think getting a nice present from daddy is the best outcome for my little girl but it’s hard when people suggest otherwise! And without a partner, I have no one to ask their thoughts on the matter!

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