Best friend seeing my ex husband

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  • #36160 Report

    amylou83
    Participant

    Hi everyone

    just looking for some reassuring advice.  I found out on Friday my best friend of 19 years has been seeing my ex husband who I seperated from last June.  She has been there through everything seeing how he treated me watched me break my heart over him seen the kids get upset.   I found some food orders off his just eat getting delivered to her house every Friday night and at Christmas he sent her a teddy and Christmas card.  She started working for him part and long story short they have grown closer and like each other.  He says nothing has happened but I don’t believe it my friend is easy as you say and no way he has been going round every sat and nothing happening.  All I got from her was a txt saying sorry they have grew closer and she likes him.  I’ve told her to never speak to me again.  Trouble is the stress has put me in hospital and now they are both getting loads of grieve he is watching the kids at the min but keeps telling me I know it’s not your fault but I keep getting messages or someone stopped me at the school gates.  But I know your the victim he said.  I mean is he for real!!! I feel so betrayed she knew I still loved him and hoped we would reconcile one day even said he will come back.  But looks like she has been waiting in the wings.  I feel so betrayed and don’t know how to come back from this.

    #36162 Report

    mstime
    Participant

    Hiya

    Really sorry to hear of your situation. Sounds similar to mine. I wont go into detail as the story is much the same as yours. Its very hard to take when you find out a friend is involved. It just increases the pain. What increases the pain further is to keep thinking about them and while its really really hard to stop you have to try. You owe it to yourself. Theyve hurt you. Dont let them continue to hurt you further. If the stress has put you into hospital then you need to find out a way to stop the stress. My way (sounds silly now) was to keep telling myself they deserve each other and that your better than that and will rise above it and even draw strength from it. I stopped looking at them as if theyre a happy couple and saw them as actually being quite sad and guilty that they had caused pain. It helped me a lot. Also getting out and about and just getting on with life helped too. Sorry if its not much help !

    #36193 Report

    amylou83
    Participant

    Thank you MSTime it does help a lot.  It’s so hard I worry about my poor children as well as they loved her like a auntie.  That’s a good way to look at it really .  It’s been hard cause he has been bringing the kids up to see me and keeps mentioning about grieve they are getting and stuff some of my family members have put Over Social media (obviously they’ve added on which people do) and then says I know it’s not your fault your the victim just get betteR.  But feels like he is trying to down play it or throw it back on me.  I’ll just keep trying to think that like you all the pain they have caused for what?

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