Bereaved, discovered infidelity, teenage son struggling………

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  • #12830 Report


    Where to start. Lost my partner of 16 years 15 months ago. Our son and I had to move back to UK from our 11-year home in Spain for financial reasons. Within weeks discovered he might have had another relationship going in the UK while I was full-time in Spain. Subsequently the other woman – who lives only a few hundred yards from us – has made a claim against the Will saying they had a 10 year relationship and she was effectively a dependent.

    OMG but that’s only the start. Our son – a week short of 15 when his dad died after a brief battle with pancreatic cancer – has struggled the entire time (not surprisingly given everything that was flung at him).  Not really in school for the past year.  Took 6 GCSEs after just a few weeks’ study. No certainty of achieving any of them. Should have been a top student.    Granny has descended into Alzheimer’s.  After his entire life as a stay-at-home-mum I took a job to be sensible because of the position of the Will, so I’m not at home with him much and when I am he’s on his laptop or phone.
    Now, at 16, he’s so much into gaming and kept himself so much in the house – not gone out to sports or joining in anything, so he has no friends.  And because I’ve focussed on him and earning money and worrying about the legal issues we’re having to go through, I’ve barely got a life either.
    About three hours ago we went to McD’s and he wanted it to be our ‘last serious conversation’ about him upping his game on behaviour, chores, tidiness etc., but on the spurious pretext that I shouldn’t have asked him to do more than one job application while I did the dishes and BEFORE we went up to do his room, and that I shouldn’t have raised my voice because I thought he was looking at another website rather than concentrated on job sites, he’s now shut away AGAIN, saying he doesn’t want to do his room and AGAIN I’m at the end of my tether, I even swore at him which I very rarely do and of course it’s ok for him to swear and be OTT but not me.
    Sorry to rant on, I have no-one else to turn to.
    Oh, forgot to mention I have two much older children and actually no serious financial worries other than paying the vast sums the lawyers keep charging me and hoping the bank balance will survive long enough to be able to last the rest of my days……………
    Oh #2   there doesn’t seem to be a Gingerbread group anywhere near me!

    #12833 Report


    Why not set up your own group – Gingerbread can help with that, and you know for sure you aren’t the only single parent locally!

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