Being a full-time single Dad
4 June 2021 at 12:04 pm #54921
No one plans to be a full-time single dad; it’s something that just happens.
It can be a big shock to the system. You have to be dad and mum at the same time you have to be able to discipline your child but still be able to put them to bed with a loving hug and a kiss.
Finding that medium can be very hard, helping them feel like they can achieve anything but at the same time put boundaries up for them you feel like you’re always on a rocking toy.
You find yourself in a place that you’re the only one your kids have and it all falls on you but at the same time you feel like you can’t take it anymore. Somehow you managed to get to the end of the day only for you to realise that you have to do it all again tomorrow. It can be very draining but as your going through all of this you have to keep a productive home that is running smoothly where your kids can grow
I have found that being organized helps with running the house.
My daily routine normally is
I leave the kids clothes outside their room the night before.
I wake up at 7 with the boys. I help Benji get dress the kids get to go on the pc/ps games from after there dressed till 7.30 then we eat breakfast I normally fold cloth on the table as I talk to them about their day ahead than we leave for school at 8.00 we get to school at 8.30 we play in the playground at school till their classroom door opens at 8.50 it’s the best feel dropping them off if it been a hard morning.
I get to work from the time I drop them off until I pick them up at 3.20
Then we head home. We get home at 4 where they get 1 hour on their games. I normally take that time to relax. I find that you need to make sure you take the time you need when you’re with them to then be able to finish off the day. At 5 we all come to the kitchen where they do their homework as I cook dinner. then its bath time then off to bed by 7.30
Depending on how their day went at school depends how hard it is to get them to bed
Then I finish folding the clothes and put them away and put the kid’s school clothes outside their door for tomorrow.
Then it’s clean up time. I put music on and clean up you can be surprised how much mess two kids can make in one day. I have two boys an 8 and 5 yr old each one has there things that need for school tomorrow the easy stuff like p.e or swimming then sometimes it’s a cereal box or the toilet roll it can be they have a trip tomorrow so they need a cap or a bottle of Water it’s always something. I wonder about the parents who always have the right thing at the right time I find it hard enough keeping track of there school kippa tittzith and their school ties then remembering everything they need to take in the next day
Taking responsibility for 2 kids can sound easy but you have to remember your taking responsibility for 2 little people that have their own moods there own personality and their own needs its a juggling game that you are promised to constantly fail at but you only have one choice and it is to pick up the juggling balls again and try try and try again.
As this is happening it can be easy to forget that I’m actually alive that I have my own needs my own dreams my own ambition to be able to have that and not feel guilty by taking that time for myself and having to give up time with my kids and there needs it can be a hard fight that you have inside as a single dad you have to always be there if I want to work late or go on a date I have to get a babysitter to put them to bed giving up that time with them it’s a fight I have inside that is it right for me to do that they already had one parent that gave them up do I have a right to make them feel that from me.
I find myself without realising it giving up on my dreams of finding someone on finding out what life is going to bring for me i find myself just in the rhythm of life taking care of all of my boys needs and spending my nights keeping myself busy trying to keep my mind from wandering off on what if and if only I have an amazing responsibility the chance to leave my mark on the world to bring up two of the most amazing children up and letting them balsam into true amazing adults maybe then i will get the chance to have and dream about what i need who knows
The single dad4 June 2021 at 1:47 pm #54929
Yep.Welcome to the world of single parenthood.
Doesn’t make much diff if your solo mum or dad.
Both need to do both people’s jobs.
Then if you throw in sorting contact challenges or court etc the single parent is doing a lot more than the jobs of 2 people.
So can someone tell me; Why the Heck does this primitive society persist in calling it ‘Single Parenting’??
By the time we’re done we’re Double/Triple Parents.4 June 2021 at 5:22 pm #54933
You described it so well, that is hurting.
We are the ones that try to do everything for their children, and we have no one to turn on.
I wish all double/triple parents a warm future and lots of kindness in life.