Basically happy

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  • #12030 Report

    SarahJT
    Participant

    Hi,

    I’m basically happy, get so much joy from my daughter. Would like to connect with other single parents. Most of my friends are single without kids so she doesn’t have that many kids to play with except at nursery and church. I could also do with advice on dating. I like spending my time with my daughter and don’t have many other people to look after her anyway (her Dad is not in the picture at all) so that hasn’t been easy and the last few I’ve liked have said they have commitment issues.

    I’ve just joined this forum so not sure how it works.

    Sarah x

    #12035 Report

    Adam_1982
    Participant

    Hey Sarah,

    Happy to chat anytime, I’m also quite new to this so not quite sure how it all works but always nice to chat to new people.

    Adam

    #12036 Report

    littlemonkey
    Participant

    I too am happy to chat any time! I have found this forum amazing for advice and support. There are so many questions when it comes to life as a ‘single parent’ (be it dating, money, emotions etc) and the community here are fab! I’m glad you are happy, it’s not often you read that. I too am just getting back into dating, and although I find the whole thing daunting/scary, I am also a teeny bit excited by it too 🙂

    #12039 Report

    Adam_1982
    Participant

    I’d be interested to know of others experience of dating. I’ve mainly done online dating and whilst I found that pretty easy in my 20s, ten years on it seems a bit harder with children in the mix and people seem either overly cautious or too enthusiastic. People very rarely seem to be local either. Any tips? What works, what doesn’t? Alternatives to online dating?

    #12044 Report

    littlemonkey
    Participant

    I too am ‘online dating’ Adam, but have found that I get a lot of attention from odd characters, and the people that I do pluck up the courage to contact rarely reply (and I am an fairly OK looking person – meant in a very non arrogant way – with a lot to talk about, so not sure where I am going wrong? Maybe it is the single parent aspect that puts people off?!) I have never ventured into the world of online dating before, and must say that I am not enjoying it as much as I thought I would. So I would also be interested to find alternatives. Although the reality for me is that I cannot easily get out to meet people as I am solely responsible for my daughter the majority of the time! Seems like a no win situation, so goodness knows where and when I will next meet someone 🙁

    #12047 Report

    Adam_1982
    Participant

    I am at a loss to find alternatives to online dating but lately have become a bit disillusioned with it all. So much so I am becoming tired of putting myself out there. I have had dates and have seen a couple of nice ladies for a few weeks at a time but it didn’t seem like either were going anywhere. I could be wrong but my impression is there are a lot more men on dating sites than women so perhaps women get so many messages that a lot of guys are ignored. I thought it would be quite easy as I actually met my ex wife online but that was a decade ago and after separating a year ago a few months ago I thought I’d try online dating again but it’s a bit of a minefield. I understand where you are coming from about lack of time for alternatives to meeting people and my days of finding potential partners in bars and clubs are long gone. I feel the same about not knowing where and when I may meet someone.

    #12048 Report

    Adam_1982
    Participant

    As an added extra, what dating sites / apps have you used? Also where are you from? I’m in Andover in Hampshire. Some of the swiping based apps (tinder / bumble) I haven’t had a lot of luck with unless I go somewhere. For example a weekend away to London with a friend generated lots of interest on those sites as I was in a populated area. But normally it’s quiet. Just before Christmas I went a bit mad and signed up to a few sites. Eharmony, Match, pof, ok cupid. I’ve just deleted ok cupid, pretty rubbish. Match got a lot of views and I chatted and dated a couple of people off there but just deleted that also as subscription was coming to an end. I’ve kept eharmony as I still have an active subscription on there and had a couple of dates from there. Pof is free but I get the impression there are so many guys on there I could message 100 women and maybe would get 1 reply, plus my ex wife kept coming up as my ultra match when she left me and had gone off with someone else for a brief time ( which didn’t work out) lol.

    #12049 Report

    SarahJT
    Participant

    Hi,

    I’m not keen on internet sites for the reasons you mention. Prefer to be set up by friends really. Maybe take a chance and ask your friends if they know of someone. I just set up two of my friends recently! Are there any gingerbread groups near you too? Maybe that would be a good way of meeting new people, to get to know eachother as friends first. I’m hoping to find the details of events for the Liverpool group (I’m in Chester).

    Friends have suggested I look on single parent sites. Before I had my daughter I always avoided getting involved with guys with kids in case they got back with the ex, there was drama from the ex and to save the child getting upset if it didn’t work out. I put a profile up on plenty more fish in the single parent pond and got 100 messages in 2 days! People say I’m pretty and I do have varied interests, but that’s just too many to try to sift through so I haven’t paid the subscription yet. Anyway I’m not sure if dating a single Dad would be a good idea?

    Sarah x

    #12050 Report

    Adam_1982
    Participant

    Maybe as you say being a single dad is off putting. I suppose the only thing I’d say to that speaking as a single dad is I’m understanding (as most single dads would be) that children come first and single mums can’t always be available whenever, where as a single guy with no ties may not be as understanding. But it’s true also that free time is precious and being in sync with both having the same free time may not be as easy if both have kids.

    #12053 Report

    Elle
    Participant

    I find that dating people is so much harder now I have children. There are limited opportunities to do so and it seems hard to date someone long term without involving the children, but that comes with risks and guilt if it doesn’t work out. The world of online dating takes some getting used to, I seem to meet people who have issues, such as not being ready to commit. I’d love to be able to say I’m content being single and don’t need a relationship but it’s so lonely. The rest of my life is settled and happy, just that someone special missing. Good luck Sarah, Littlemonkey and Adam ☺

    #12070 Report

    Abbeydad
    Participant

    Has any one been to a gingerbread group or started one, it would be a good thing to get involved in, I’m in Essex, Waltham Abbey., I hear there is one in Romford and waltham forest and enfield this would be a good place to start make new friends.  Anyone for an informal BBQ garden party kids are welcome ?

    #12208 Report

    Elle
    Participant

    Hi Abbeydad. I’ve just signed up to one near me. It’s a new group just getting established. Good luck finding and joining one near you. It will be nice to connect with other people in a similar situation as most of my friends are settled down and living very different lifestyles.

    #12229 Report

    liyz
    Participant

    I am new to the forum and this thread is interesting because I am going though the same thing. I started dating again after 1.5 years of separation. And the guy I dated has commitment issue. I am not even sure if it is just commitment issue or more of a personality disorder. Anyway, I find it difficult to find someone I want to go out with (not using apps) and maybe a bit of scared of fully committing myself again. So after this first trial, I don’t know if I should keep trying at all.

    #12230 Report

    Adam_1982
    Participant

    Totally get where you are coming from there. Interestingly I had a conversation with a lady at the bank today who I was sorting something out with. I didn’t even mention I had been online dating, just that I had recently divorced. She told me to get online but said you’d probably have to experience a run of bad / ok dates until you met someone great. I guess the lesson is, it is the easiest way to meet people but your patience will get tested. I’ve felt similar about giving up with it all but the random conversation at the bank earlier has maybe shown that is the way forward. I was told it works as the female cashier said her ex husband left her with two kids and she met her now husband online and has another child with him. So as she said, it can work but you have to perhaps experience some ‘interesting’ characters along the way.

Viewing 14 posts - 1 through 14 (of 14 total)

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