Hiya
Hope you’re ok. I’m not even sure you’re still here as it says deleted user. But nonetheless, I’ll send something anyway.
No he shouldn’t let her influence him, you are both two separate entities and should make decisions about both in his own mind, but realistically, he’s going to be swayed by what the new squeeze says. To what degree depends on him, and it’s quite difficult to know how much, if at all.
I understand completely the anxiety around it. Me and my ex had difficulty at times getting our points across, and feeling we’ve each been heard and acknowledged. Our issue was cultural, and language misunderstanding when trying to communicate. Its a long and convoluted story, but we have improved over the last 18 months. But leading up to that, even the ping of a message on my phone would tighten my stomach because I thought it would be another confrontation about something.
It was like there was always some form of criticism, about absolutely anything. Some of which I could tune out, as it really was irrelevant. And don’t get me wrong, I’ll have done the same at some points.
I can’t honestly say when the shift came, but there was one, and it changed to us just doing things for the best of our boy. Not taking every comment as an insult or a put down, and kind of helped each other, and communicate the best way, to best serve our son.
I’ve been lucky really, in that I haven’t had a new partner to be up against as well, but I’m sure you’ll find your own level of communication with your ex eventually. And if you want a chat, just give me a shout
Take care