Baby contact

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  • #46595 Report



    My baby is 7 months old. His dad was not interested throughout the pregnancy and has been inconsistent since he has been born He has gone a while without seeing him.

    I have been advised by solicitor and police for a third party to be present during contact because of coersive threatening behaviour and allegations made by babie’s dad. He is really not happy about a third party being involved.

    I am breast feeding and baby is currently teething which means he looks to feed for comfort an awful lot.

    I want my son to know his dad so thought the best solution in this scenario is for contact to take place in babies home (familiar surroundings) i can be present to feed as and when needed and a family member can come too so i am safeguarded. I even did out a contact playroom so they can have fun whilst i am in another room. I have said he can come see him whenever he wants.

    I would have suggested soft play but with covid has meant theyv’e closed.

    Anyway, the babie’s dad has said the only way he will see him is if he takes him off on his own for a few hours which i don’t feel is in babie’s best interests due to being so young and breast feeding.  Also the baby doesn’t know him because of the lack of input he has had. Just trying to put babies needs first here but the dad is giving lots of grief about it.  He is threatening legal action but i have not stopped him seeing his son and he hasn’t been interested. I don’t understand the behaviour.

    Has anyone been in a similar situation? i just feel hopeless at the moment.


    #46601 Report


    At the moment whilst you are breastfeeding it is probably practical that he sees baby round yours 2-3 times a week for 1-2 hours . When you stop breastfeeding this can then progress to dad taking young one out for 2 hours. You can between yourselves slowly build up contact.

    As for going down the legal route , childs dad would have little success as you are breast feeding  and would only get 1-2 hours max a week more than likely

    #46607 Report


    Thanks for your reply it has brought me reassurance 🙂

    #46624 Report

    Renata L

    Hello! My mother had such a situation. She allowed meetings under her supervision. This way you can control the emotions of the child, father, to see if they really need it. Do not be afraid of it, but also at first observe to be calm.

    #46633 Report


    Hi, My son has just turned one and I’m in a similar situation… his dad was around for my pregnancy but as soon as he arrived has been pretty useless if I’m honest, unsupportive in every way possible. Mentally, physically, financially.

    He’s never made the effort to be around for my son but now he’s 1 expects me to let him stay with him and his family for weekends (when none of them have even created a bond with him and they live over an hour from me)


    it wouldn’t be in my sons best interests for him to stay with them as it’s overcrowded and his sister has a drug problem, yet they can’t see I’m only trying to be a good mum by going against this. None of them take Covid seriously either!


    I feel totally helpless too 🙁

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