Autism mum I don’t fit in anywhere

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  • #58670 Report

    Pixi
    Participant

    It’s been a very very long time since I used gingerbread. I used to attend the groups till something happened that made me feel terribly sad and I just cut all ties .
    I feel so so lonely as an autism mum with no support of a non verbal 12 year old who also has medical needs and developmental delay . He is doubly incontinent too .
    I also have a 13 year old going through the autism diagnosis process and is very vulnerable.
    I’m definitely not looking for sympathy just people in the same boat who don’t judge me , my boys and my alternative lifestyle . People take one look at me and cast me out . I’ve never hurt a soul my whole life but been through more domestic violence than I can handle . I will never ever be in a relationship ever again .
    I just want peace and understanding but this seems to be too much to ask .
    my private personality gives friends the opportunity to offload all their drama onto me not realising how difficult it is for me to process and take on all their problems whilst suppressing my own .
    I live in a private state of chronic pain and yesterday I took my children to coram fields playground.
    it broke my heart when other children tried to communicate with my son but all he could say was ‘chicken’ so I sent my other son to rescue him but by then my son got the the little one was so scared and coward into a corner .
    I get incidents like this on a daily basis and don’t want to face the world as I’m sure a lot of parents I’m my situation familiarise themselves with .
    I have so much to offer but I feel so so lonely and afraid for my children .
    please do not leave any sympathy messages it’s positivity I need .
    I wish you all well .
    yer at the same time I just want to lock myself away !! I just don’t get it
    Blessed Be .

    #58683 Report

    skiney
    Participant

    What can I say apart from stick it out your your being the greatest mum ever. It’s really tough they need you more than ever.

    Iv got a child  that’s special needs too  and just become single parent for last 6 months as other caused adultery more than once and abandoned son. Its bad and I’m in in hole too Really bad, but as long as we have our children and we love em I don’t care what anybody else thinks.

    Keep strong we both love u

     

    #58684 Report

    toomanygooddays
    Participant

    Do you get disability living allowance ? I know most children centres run like summer club or activities at the weekend or even after school .

    My child has autism and is very good at home and at child minder . occasionally there are issues in the park and I can’t stand when people are staring.shes a good eater but I do take sweets out to bribe her to come home .I get fed up with people saying oh that’s not good .like I feed her sweets all the time . I know how you feel . I am sorry but you just have to have thick skin

    #58687 Report

    Pixi
    Participant

    Thanks guys for your kind words . They mean a lot .
    My son gets higher rate disability and attended  a special needs club run by the school twice a week during summer and 2 Saturdays a month during term time .
    I cannot allow carers near my children following a horrific experience that has left me in great fear of ever leaving my non verbal child alone with a carer ever again .

    Thankfully I have been able to take the boys on trips and give them a good summer myself.

    Your absolutely right you do grow a thick skin when out in public and don’t give two hoots what people think . In fact if anyone ever stares at my child I never say anything I just give them the death stare back :)) until they feel so uncomfortable they wish they’d never looked in the first place !!

    On meeting people I may come across as confident and coping incredibly well but the deep inside personal loneliness and sadness is what I don’t show or ever have the nerve to speak to anyone about .
    I don’t even know if I’m making any sense?
    Do others get this at all ?

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