Asking for further maintenance.

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  • #64061 Report


    I know my post may seem slightly controversial however I’m not money grabbing, I just don’t think my ex is being very fair to his daughter.

    I’m 40yrs old with a 12yr old. I had to medically retire from my career last year and am now in receipt of a small pension. My ex doesn’t see our daughter as she now refuses to go to his house as she hates his wife and how they both treat her. (There is more background to this which is quite sensitive)  I’ve suggested (and begged him) to maintain a relationship with his daughter by seeing her, going on walks, visiting her at my house, saying that I’d make them dinner and go out however he wants everything on his terms. (He’s seen her 8 times this year) and it hurts my daughter that he’s prioritising his new wife and her child over her.
    he does pay maintenance (£322.60pm) which considering his earnings and standard of lifestyle compared to ours; is really low (he can hide a lot of his private work as it’s cash)
    During the summer holidays, I made the decision to homeschool her (when she should’ve gone to secondary school) and employed a tutor as at the time we were moving a few miles away and I didn’t want to get her settled in a new school to them pull her out. As it transpired, we now cannot move and when I recently applied for a school placement, the nearest school with availability is nearly 6 miles away. She is desperate to go back to school as she misses “normality” the structure and socialising (really impacting on her wellbeing) the local authority have basically said there is nothing they can do and she can wait for a place nearer home and I will have to continue homeschooling her, so to find a solution to this, I have enrolled her in a private school which is circa £16k a year in fees and asked her dad if he would consider buying her uniform, he offered me £100 contribution (which will buy her blazer and a swimming hat!)

    I cannot help but feel resentful, I am the one doing everything for our daughter (who is incredible!) I am doing my best and putting a house move and retraining on hold whilst he does very little other than send the odd text message.
    I have savings (inheritance) that are disappearing rapidly and will need to get a job to keep on top of my finances (despite being physically disabled) he currently pays what was suggested by the CMS and has a very comfortable life. I’m just wondering if I have grounds to take him to court to get more maintenance from him for her education – I know I must sound like a greedy person and I know that I’ve made these decisions but at the time, they were the right ones to make (without going into too much detail) any advice regarding court ordered maintenance would be gratefully received.
    Thank you for reading my post.


    #64062 Report


    Hi I know where your coming from im devoced have 3 kids with my ex wife. I pay 460 per month in maintenance to her but we both have joint custody of the kids they stay with me 2 nights per week but she consistently blackmails me and my emotions stopping them from seeing me for months unless I give more money. I buy all there uniforms take them out swimming and day outs i always want to be in there life I never miss  birthdays and I always give them what they want even if can’t nt afford it. I’m sorry to here that he has no interest in your daughter but I Don’t think I could survive with out my kids and not give them something extra.

    #64076 Report


    Hi Abs3676

    Her treatment of you is utterly despicable and I hope you’re seeking advice with regards to a child arrangement order (through the courts) and perhaps ask them to decide on what you pay? she is the bound by law to comply and if she stops the kids from seeing you then she is in breach and court action could be taken against her. I hope you get it sorted soon. Happy Christmas 🙂

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