Arrangements when he works 7 days a week

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  • #64778 Report

    Mamabearof2girls
    Participant

    Hi everyone, just after a bit of advice if anyone has been in a similar situation.

    Bit of background – ex husband works 7 days a week, did do throughout last couple of years of marriage and when we split July 2020, he said he would do so for a few more months until he clears debts whilst living with parents. We agreed in mediation that Our children go to him mon & tues overnight and see him Thursday evening and that be reviewed to alt weekends January 2021, As they don’t get any full days with him until school holidays. They both don’t like the arrangement (they are coming up for 11&13)

    he refused to go back to mediation dec 2020 and again march 2021 to change the arrangements and said he still has to work 7 days, the children are not happy as it’s disruptive of school midweek and they are waiting for a day with him for 7 weeks every term. I have taken him to court to try and amend it, we did child inc mediation and the children couldn’t have been clearer, but he refused to change his routine for them. So back to court again and have final hearing in a few weeks time, he basically manipulates and twists the situation and what the children have said.

    in response to me taking him to court he has said he now wants the children sun,mon,tues overnight and thurs evening every week and then in the school holidays sun,mon, tues and Wednesday overnight and Thursday evening. The children are distraught with this prospect and the fact he still lives with his parents with whom the girls are not comfortable staying with. When the conversation was bought up about the alt weekends over a year ago I said I would have to take him to court if need be, he replied and I quote “yeah go on then, if you take me to court for that then I’ll go for full custody”. I recorded this phone call with him as there is a long history of him gaslighting me and I basically have to protect myself by doing so.

    He claims to clear debt and save money but we left the relationship with the same debts and he has blown loads of money on other things the past 18 months which the children are aware of and becoming increasingly angry about. I have asked that if it comes down to finance then I request a full financial disclosure be done. In the court statements he has accused me of hiding childrens medical things from him (which has never happened) our younger child has awful anxiety at the moment and isn’t eating very well at either houses, he has said she eats fine and lots at his house and comes to him hungry which is a concern?! I am horrified but not surprised as he has a lot of covert narcissistic traits and will do anything to get his way.

    no section 7 was done but children have written to the judge this time with wishes and feelings, which ere carried out independently to myself.

    my questions are –

    will the courts think it’s acceptable for him to work 7 days a week and the children work around him? 

    Is it likely when we both are being portrayed as ‘loving, capable parents’ by the court that he will get his way? 

    thank you

    #64782 Report

    steve3334
    Participant

    Hi,

    When i went through courts, told them am struggling with school runs and I lost jobs because of it. They didn’t care and told me to find more flexible job. So i gave up full time work, so i can have the kids more. I don’t see how he can have kids more if he works 7 days a week. Having alternate weekends wouldn’t really work. Court may order that, but he would be free to decide if he is available or not for those weekends.

    • This reply was modified 2 weeks, 1 day ago by steve3334.
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