Hello, I’m brand new here. I’m getting divorced from my husband, our marriage ended following an affair I had last year. (I hope this forum is one where judgement is reserved, and practical assistance if offered). My husband and I lived as a separated couple for 6 months in our marital home, before myself and our two children moved to a rented property nearby 3 months ago. We have managed to remain good friends throughout this, and have been seeing a mediator to make sense of our financial situation.
We own a house, with less than 50% outstanding on the mortgage. I have some questions.
1. Do I need a solicitor whilst we see a mediator, or is that something that would be useful one the mediation process is complete?
2. The house we own was purchased using money from the sale of our previous home. Our previous home was a house my husband purchased before we met, but we lived there as a couple with children, and got married whilst we lived there. The sale of that home provided the deposit, alongside a ‘gift’ from my husbands parents of 30K. The mediator has said I am therefore not entitled to 50:50 split of assets, as the majority of the asset pre dates our relationship. I am willing to accept this, and understand the rationale, but have been advised by friends and colleagues to challenge this. I am not keen to take money from my husband that I am not entitled to, but I am deeply concerned I wont be able to afford a home near my children’s school / friends / their Dad if I am only entitled to a very small share of the equity.
When we divorced i still owned another property that I bought 10 years before meeting my husband . It was declared both at mediation and when we went to court which included my pension. My husband never paid into one . This was split 50 50 .
I am in a muddled mess but I can help you here as I’ve just ended a financial dispute with my ex. You need a solicitors advice, things will be looked at as at least 50/50. Hope you manage to sort things.
It is complicated but there are some good (free) guides out there. Start on the .gov.uk website.
Its not a straightforward question as it also depends on how long you’ve been together / married. If you brought a lot of capital to the marriage and it collapsed after 6 months would a 50/50 split be fair? The longer you’ve been together the more likely an equal split is justifiable. Once you’ve done a bit of reading though, write all your questions down so that you can make use of proper professional advice to best effect
Justine from Gingerbread here. Don’t forget to have a look at our website as this can offer useful information on separating and finances. Also our single parent helpline has a team of advisers who are able to help you to find a solution to your questions. They can be contacted on 0808 802 0925. Opening hours are Mon 10 – 6, Tues 10 – 4, Wed 10 – 1 & 5 – 7, Thurs 10 – 4, Fri 10 – 4.
Its good to see the community supporting each other with useful information. Thanks for all of your input.
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