Anyone in a similar situation?

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This topic contains 10 replies, has 7 voices, and was last updated by  Sarah0407 7 months, 2 weeks ago.

Viewing 11 posts - 1 through 11 (of 11 total)
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  • #22793 Report

    H302431
    Participant

    My child’s dad left me when I was pregnant 7 years ago after I found out he was cheating left right and centre. We had a row one night after an evening out, he punched me in the face and literally wouldnt see or speak to me my whole pregnancy. We had planned the pregnancy, and he was the happiest man alive when We found out.

    I’ve been single this whole time, I’ve met people but they never want to commit. It’s really starting to get me down that I’m going to be on my own forever. I just want to feel complete and have a family unit that I’ve never been able to have. Also I don’t know if I can ever trust anyone. Is there anyone else in a similar situation? I cry most nights because I feel like I’ve failed in life.

    #22795 Report

    Kathymumofone
    Participant

    How can you have failed in life? After such horrible treatment, you’ve succeeded in building a calm loving home for your child. That’s massive, People should be cheering you on.

    But now, it’s time to do some stuff for you. Can you find a local counsellor and have some sessions where you can just offload everything. Or look at the advice line on here. Someone to talk it through with.

    #22852 Report

    ./
    Participant

    Trust is somerthing that can be extremely difficult to build and takes time to but only a second to lose it and to affect a person enough to make them reluctant to trust in future.  You’ll find you are certainly not alone there, and probaly most people on this forum feel very similarly.

    As Kathy said above you most certainly haven’t failed in life, and you should remember all you have achieved.

    When you say about a family unit, families come in all different forms, and for many people it is just a case of a single parent and a child or children, but that doesn’t make it any less of a family unit, and you shouldn’t feel having failed at all.  I certainly second what Kathy said about now being the time to find stuff to do for you… and focusing on yourself rather than trying to find that missing piece.  Once you do that and figure out who you are etc now, and the things that are important to you independantly of being a mother, but you as a person… you’ll be in a better position to just meet someone naturally, and if you start doing things or getting involved with new things you may well find you meet people on same wavelength with a common interest.

    You certainly haven’t failed, far from it. 🙂

    #22896 Report

    H302431
    Participant

    Thank you, it means a lot that you replied. It’s just when you’re young you always think you’re going to get married have kids and live happily, that’s what I’ve always wanted and I thought I was going to have that with my ex. The more times goes on it’s upsetting that it doesn’t look like I’m ever going to have that life. I love my child more than anything and it’s nice to do things together but sometimes I just wish I had a partner there to share the special times. It’s incredibly lonely being a single parent, none of my friends or family understand.

    #22899 Report

    Mil1lion
    Participant

    As a very recent single mum I can only tell you what I’ve been recommended… to be happy myself before thinking of anyone else…

    Its something I never have been, I’ve never been happy on my own and am awaiting counselling so I can hopefully address this…

    Perhaps its something worth considering?

    And in no way have you failed in life! You’ve been a single parent for 7 years! You’re a superstar and you should never forget that

    #22901 Report

    H302431
    Participant

    Thank you. How do you go about seeing a counsellor? I don’t really want to go to my GP as they are pretty useless and I can’t afford to pay for one?

    #22902 Report

    ./
    Participant

    There are some links on here that may be of use, but most of all please keep talking to somebody, you will get through this.

    This is a really supportive forum and you’ll be made to feel supported.

     

    #22904 Report

    Sarah0407
    Participant

    My son is nearly 5 his father left when i was 3 weeks pregnant and has never met his son. Ive been on my own all this time i don’t have support . I was abused when I was younger so don’t trust men.

    #22906 Report

    Ramblinjon
    Participant

    You’re not alone in wondering about your ‘worth’ in life but you’re already successfully bringing up a child, us single parents should recognise how hard it is to bring up kids alone, to achieve this is success by itself.

    The only thing we haven’t been successful at (apart from us that have been sadly bereaved) is finding the right one yet, ‘yet” being the important word, I really do believe that there is someone out there for each one of us and when you find them things like trust get rebuilt.

    Keep going because you never know what’s around the corner……it could turn out to be happiness.

    #22944 Report

    Vbabyp
    Participant

    Totally agree with everyone that has replied to you I thought and felt the same about wanting someone there to be a family unit I’ve tried loads of times with my 9 year olds father I always worried about not being with anyone again or loving someone again but I’m starting to think of me for a change and just concentrate on us and I swear to you its the best feeling ever to be happy for u and ur child and not have to worry about another person that doesn’t deserve ur time and efforts or love for that matter I feel like a massive weight has been lifted and me and my son are settling down now. And in the future what will be will be I’ve waisted half my life worrying about his dad and that we should be a family and who to trust or not trust just go with the flow And I’m sure ur doing a great job it has its moments but its so worth it in the end to think about ur self and ur children x😊

    #22950 Report

    Sarah0407
    Participant

    Totally agree i think it’s so hard at times but it’s all worth it i think it’s better in a way. XX

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