Anyone from Shropshire or midlands!

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Viewing 15 posts - 1 through 15 (of 31 total)
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  • #7035 Report

    Kirsty834
    Participant

    Hi I’m new here and new to being a single mum!

    anyone from Shropshire?

    #7037 Report

    CastleDad
    Participant

    Hi Kirsty

    Guilty….Within about six miles of Shropshire on the midlands side…

    How new a single mum?

     

     

     

     

    #7038 Report

    Kirsty834
    Participant

    Quite recently how about you?

    #7039 Report

    CastleDad
    Participant

    Five years single, majority of care…20 months via court.

    All is well but less single males with primary career situation of young kids so don’t get out much.

    Plenty of time for popping on here and another site for giving out personal experience in family court setting…oh and the ironing 😒

    Is your single parenthood a harmonious one or a bitter battle in the background? Always best the former.

     

     

    #7044 Report

    Natalie 03
    Participant

    Hi Kirsty,

    I’m new here and new to being a single mum too!

    Also from Shropshire…

    How you finding it? Sometimes I’m incredibly happy and others a little low – and always tired!

    Hi Castledad too!

     

    #7045 Report

    CastleDad
    Participant

    Hi Natalie

    So we have two Shropshires v one staffs.

    Must be more staffs somewhere, get posting.

     

     

    #7057 Report

    Natalie 03
    Participant

    Castledad,

    Do you mind me asking how long it took you to get through your separation and all the legal stuff? Did you have any help? Any counselling?

    Sorry if that’s too personal- feel free to say if you’d rather not discuss it.

     

     

    #7062 Report

    CastleDad
    Participant

     

    Hello Natalie

    Separation part did not concern me, by that time it was a relief it came to an end and a massive weight was lifted. The battle afterwards was not pleasant, in regards to access and then transfer of residency, over 4 years and still  major issues are ongoing. It was not only the typical court/cafcass situation.

    The legal stuff I did a fair bit but due to working, many meetings that I had to attend and administrative side I did get a solicitor to relieve some pressure. No counselling or doctor visits but many times I got told to visit the drs due to the strain but I did find I had an iron core. Many people would have folded, understandably, especially parents that are somewhat younger then me.

    Parents play games, throw allegations around, try to get the upper hand on their ex but those people had kids together and they need to work out what is best for the kids and not their own self centred ways. Parents will have different views on how to raise kids but compromises (that work) are the only solutions. Needless twaddle will always backfire at some point. Harped on a bit 😀

     

    #7066 Report

    Natalie 03
    Participant

    Please don’t apologise – you didn’t go on and I asked!

    To be honest it’s just helpful for me to know there are people out there who have come out the other end…

    At the moment I’m not involved in any legal battle. My ex has no rights to his son, legally, and for various reasons I won’t go into here. But at the end of the day he’s his son and currently I let him see him while I’m there once a week.

    i don’t think it will last but that’s where we’re at.

    i guess I asked you because I wanted to know there is justice and fair play in all this and there is an end to the emotional turmoil too.

     

    thank you for sharing.

    #7070 Report

    CastleDad
    Participant

    We all have different situations but as long as parent(s) are doing things for the right reasons and not trying to get at the other person or just being spiteful and power hungry the battles are worth it and there will be no regrets.

    The majority of single parents should be proud in what they do but unfortunately some give us a bad name.

     

     

    #7082 Report

    Natalie 03
    Participant

    It seems to me that the definition of being a single parent is being a superhero!

    It’s pretty tough and I’m sure most of us are doing the very best we can.

    The worst is when people judge you for being a single parent when they’ve no idea about why it’s happened…

    I guess things are a little easier for you now your little one is 5?

    #7092 Report

    CastleDad
    Participant

    This is one area where being a male and a single parent is not as bad as single motherhood. We dont get judged in that way, unlike mothers but saying that we have issues where single mothers don’t ie going to a kids parks or play areas and getting very suspicious looks at times. I went to one busy place and while looking at kids on a rope swing got confronted. Could understand it if I had a camera, taking photos and no young son there. Also isolation is more prevalent, males don’t form groups and it is somewhat harder for new relationships to form. A single male in their 40s with a five year old, it is needle in haystack so I don’t bother.

    Whatever the kids ages there are always issues, the issues just change and in addition my son does require more support than the large majority at his age but I only have one.

    There are always people in worse situations and even though it is tough, I’ve never been happier.

     

     

    #7115 Report

    Natalie 03
    Participant

    Your post was both lovely and sad.

    It’s so good to hear how happy you are – and I can totally understand where you’re coming from because being totally in charge of my baby boy without any of the old worries and issues my ex caused is so liberating and I love to spend time with him!

    But the idea you’re judged because you’re male and therefore somehow a threat to all children is totally ridiculous and shows just how insane society has become.

    I’m a teacher and I try to teach my students to be open minded but the prejudice and bigoted attitudes always come from the parents…

    I guess we just try to bring up our children differently, to accept people for who they are.

    As for relationships, I can’t imagine ever having the time to even try at the moment but I think there are dating sites out there for single parents?

    #7125 Report

    CastleDad
    Participant

    Dating websites, where do I start? 🙄

    There are successes but I realised from these sites that 40s male with 5yr old is Quasimodo. Too old for 30s women and kid is too young for 40s women..their kids already flown nest or in teens. Women really are more reluctant when it comes to single dads than the other way round but saying that there are a lot less of us.

    Its tough for males on those sites at the best of times due to the numbers of men to women. Can’t figure why the large discrepancy unless just made up profiles or women prefer not to use the sites as much as males. The men have to lie to get attention/replies and the women thinking that they have a wide choice,  due to all the attention, but in reality the profiles are fake or just Pinocchio types. It is no wonder I kept on seeing the same women saying “I’m back again”. The women also get so many sleazy approaches they get annoyed at the most genuine message. The pay for sites are better but of course less people.

    Not surprised about your time issue, single parent and teacher? No let up there with time issue, unless you do have solid support by family.

    #7138 Report

    Suze
    Participant

    Hi, I’m new to this site too, I’m from Dudley and have three energetic boys. It’s taken a good 4 years to complete my divorce but I’m out the other side.

Viewing 15 posts - 1 through 15 (of 31 total)

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