Anyone from Northamptonshire?

Home Online forum Gingerbread Forum Anyone from Northamptonshire?

Viewing 8 posts - 1 through 8 (of 8 total)
  • Author
    Posts
  • #47495 Report

    Mike86
    Participant

    Hi,

    It’s now been 2 weeks since I discovered my wife’s affair and she left me and our 4 year old son.

    I’m really not coping. She ignored him for the first 5 days, instead asked me for money as she’s moved and hour’s train ride away to be with new boyfriend and hasn’t got any money or a job.

    I’m struggling emotionally and can’t come to terms with it. She does call him each day now, after a lot of begging from me and she wants to see him in 2 weeks for his birthday.

    I work fulltime and take care of our son, have a mortgage to pay and various other things to sort out now she’s gone so I know I need to keep it together but it’s so difficult.

    If anyone is in the Northamptonshire area, or even if not and just wants to chat, it would be really appreciated as I just feel so alone.

    Thank you.

    #47511 Report

    FurBag36
    Participant

    Hi @Mike86 I’ve just read through your post on here and I really do feel for you.

    Should you want someone specifically from the Northampton area, I believe that they have a group on here for that area. Have a look. Otherwise, you could always start up your own group.

    I’ve just requested to start one for where I live. Hopefully they’ll authorise it.

    First of all, well done for stepping up and not running away. You’ve been left in an awful situation but making the effort to maintain it is commendable.

    As I said before, just take a day at a time.

    Who is helping you with childcare? I have a ten month old so I’m not at that point yet but don’t you get a certain amount of hours free? That could help financially. Do you have any family close by?

    I know it’s hard but what you’re doing so far is amazing. Especially as Christmas has just gone.

    Keep soldiering on though Mike. Your son will benefit from this in the end and it’ll all be you. He will know and appreciate that one day.

    #47513 Report

    Mike86
    Participant

    Hi,

    Sorry, I saw your other post before this one.

    Doesn’t necessarily have to be Northamptonshire, happy to chat with anyone.

    Well he’s at school so I don’t know about free hours but hoping to get him into breakfast and afterschool club. My mum is helping with childcare at the moment.

    Really don’t know how to come to terms with it all. Completely heartbroken.

    #47516 Report

    FurBag36
    Participant

    Yes I did the same.

    How does your mum get on with him? Keeping up with a four year old boys energy well? 🙂

    I bet he likes being with nanny too. How is he taking everything?

    Hopefully the school are supportive too. I’m sure they’re not strangers to these situations.

    Oh Mike, I know. It’s just a deepening hole within your heart isn’t it. Empty and painful. I’m so sorry. Going over things in your head, what you should or shouldn’t have said or done; what to do differently.

    It’s just a car of having to slowly build yourself back to how you were. It takes time. 🙁

    Is work helping to take some of it off your mind at all or do you feel you need something else? Do you have a hobby you have time to fit in? Maybe you and little’un could start something new together?

    #47517 Report

    FurBag36
    Participant

    *case

    #47520 Report

    Mike86
    Participant

    He’s all over the place, doesn’t understand at all really. And whenever he doesn’t want to talk to her I get the ‘you’re turning him against me’ comments.

    He gets on well with my mum.

    I’m not really sure where I stand with work at the moment. The first week I had a breakdown at work and they were supportive at first but I work at a funeral directors so as you can imagine we are so busy right now and there isn’t time for personal problems.

    On Monday I went in determined to just get on with things but I became ill and had to have an ambulance called. They won’t let me back for 10 days now even though it isn’t covid, because they want to be sure. They seemed angry that I came to work that day and said I endangered the company. My boss who I get on well with wouldn’t answer the phone to me and when I asked if I still had a job they hesitated before saying we’ll do a return to work assessment in 10 days.

    I’m scared because this is the best job I’ve ever had and without it I will lose the house.

    #47524 Report

    FurBag36
    Participant

    That’s just classic deflection! Deflection and refusing to take responsibility! He’ll be old enough to tell her one day, “no mum it was you”! Until then, she will scapegoat you! It’s crap.

    Poor boy. 🙁

    Thats very difficult. Have you tried talk to management since then? Not getting the support you thought? :/ That’s bad. And Mike, they can’t sack you. They have no grounds.

    But that stress on top of everything else is definitely not what you need.

    Ok, let’s see what they come back with when they get back to you then. Is it worth in the meantime, looking for something else; just in case? It’s not ideal and I know it’s the last thing you want to find time for buy as you say, you have a mortgage to pay.

    #47605 Report

    Mike86
    Participant

    @Furbag36

    Sorry I didn’t reply, things have taken a turn for the worst.

    I tried to remove her name from the joint mortgage and now may lose the house.

    She gave up her job day 1 of moving in, I wasn’t happy with that but earn enough to pay everything for the house and have done since we bought it in March.

    So I figured not much would really change but I hadn’t considered that when we got the offer it was based on her income at the time as well, so even though I can comfortably keep paying, the actual mortgage amount I’m entitled to goes down.

    It has been sent to the underwriters for decision but it’s very unlikely that I’ll get to keep the house.

    She really has taken everything from me and my son if we lose this.

Viewing 8 posts - 1 through 8 (of 8 total)

Log in or register to reply to this thread

Log In Register