Anyone else single and pregnant?

[mumtobe2]

ive recently found out I’m pregnant after me and my partner splitting because of a relationship breakdown, I thought we would always be together, kind of hard because at one point we wanted a child together never imagined doing this alone,I thought it would be something we would enjoy as a couple. He does want to be supportive and in the child’s life but I find his behaviour towards me very draining and abusive at times ,Just looking for any advice or support  of anyone in a similar situation really

[Kathymumofone]

Congratulations on the pregnancy.

I found the best way to deal with the situation was to focus on the the practical. I made a list as soon as I knew, of what we would need before baby arrived.ie an amount of money to help the months when maternity pay is very low. Plus  basic baby kit. Then I planned all the nice things I would be able to do on maternity leave.

Something practical to focus on and made me feel more confident. Also if you seem to have it all under control, your ex will get less stressed, which is better for all of you.

[mumtobe2]

Thankyou for your advice, that sounds a really good idea, I love to write lists to organise my life anyway. I don’t really care if my ex is stressed though as it’s not really about how he feels the main priority is the life growing inside me, so I really got to make sure I’m calm as possible

[Chan]

• I am currently going through the same as you. Ex said he prays every day that me and the rat inside me dies. I am ok but can’t believe the change in him. Im trying to stay nalanced and focussed but it is hard.  Feel free to message me, i understamd how you are feeling. X

[Sue]

Hi mumtobe2 and Chan,

It’s exciting looking forward to the birth of your baby but it can also be daunting if you separate during pregnancy.

It sounds like you’re both having a particularly difficult time due to the abusive behavior of your ex-partners.  The National Domestic Violence Helpline is a free and confidential 24-hour helpline offering specialist advice and support to survivors of domestic abuse. You can contact them on 0808 2000 247 or via email https://www.womensaid.org.uk/information-support/helpline/. They can put you in touch with support services in your local area. You can also speak to your health visitor about your concerns and they can offer support.

There’s lots of information on the Gingerbread website about separation: https://www.gingerbread.org.uk/information/separating/  and about money during maternity: https://www.gingerbread.org.uk/information/maternity-paternity-and-adoption/ or you can contact the free Gingerbread helpline on 0808 802 0925 if you have any concerns or need any further advice.

Best wishes,

Sue

 

 

[Shels]

Hey ladies hope your both well and your pregnacies are all well.

I gave birth to my daughter a month ago. I had been seeing her dad for a while, he always spoke about have a child but I wasn’t really for the idea as i also have a 4 year old and wanted to be in a stable relationship first before i considered another baby. I found out I was pregnant and told my daughter’s dad he came with every excuse even that she wasn’t his. I was on my own during my pregancy with my 4 year old son. I had attempted contact with my daughter’s dad only for him to allow his new GF to call and threaten me and then send abusive texts. I decided for me and my children i needed to focus on us 3 and what was best as hard as it was i got through and so will you guys. Your both strong amazing women and need to look deep within yourself and really believe and be confident in who you are.  Shelby

[mumtobe2]

Thanks everyone for the advice and the useful contacts. Chan I can’t believe what your ex said to you! Your poor thing, and shells sounds like you’ve been through a lot with your ex not bothering to support you, I have got confidence to concentrate on myself I’ve blocked him from everything now so I don’t get affected by his verbal abuse. I am worried about arranging contact when the baby is born though as I want to breastfeed and wouldn’t feel comfortable him just taking the baby overnight but I also wouldn’t be happy with him being in my house, anyone else having to make a decision on this? I know he wants to be involved just don’t want to be sat there feeling uncomfortable in my own home.

[mumtobe2]

I know it’s avout the child but if I feel uncomfortable so will the baby, happy Mum = happy baby

[Author]

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