Anyone else lost friends through divorce? / random whinge :)
5 October 2020 at 6:21 pm #44601
I’m about three years into a divorce process as it’s been a messy one! The marriage was loveless in the latter 7 years, and despite me trying and suggesting counselling etc there was little reciprocation.. She tanked a business costing her parents £60k, had a bailiff round wanting £250 for a £2.50 ticket due to not opening her post, and then find out she’s amassed £13k in fines from the HMRC due to not filing tax returns! Despite taking the kids out every weekend over a 3-6 month period she never completed what she needed to do and was one day made bankrupt! WTF?! I was so shaking mad I filed for divorce, and started looking for a house for myself. Rented initially.. I then lost my marbles and got with someone I did a hobby with. (Not quite all the way). I told her what had happened and we tried for a week. Foolishly I thought I’d never live it down and I moved out shortly after. Then three weeks later, I met someone else, and we did get together. Three weeks into that I came to my senses but my ex pretty much blanked me from thereon out.. I gave her nearly two years and lots of time but nothing changed.
The first mediation session we tried was strained and it ended shortly after with ‘We hardly saw anything of her’. I offered Relate but she said she couldn’t afford it. I offered to pay and she said No. At the start of this year I decided enough was enough and kicked off a proper divorce petition. After lots of false promises, it got to the point where I had to engage the court. In about July I gave the nod. Her solicitor agreed to an exchange at the end of August, nothing. We moved it to September, nothing. The court dates all came through for October 2nd, Nothing! Despite me filing for divorce she never responded to the Acceptance of Service. Despite the court directing that we need to have Form E in by Oct 2nd, she hasn’t done it! She has until this Friday and if no Form E, we go down the Penal Notice route.. It’s completely nuts, and despite her being made bankrupt by a court, she hasn’t learnt her lesson and continues to display ostrich management.
I find it all very emotionally and physically draining.. I never wanted any of this, and I certainly don’t want to take the path I am, but I feel I have no option.. What’s worse is I lost a lot of friends whilst with her for one reason or another. All I was left with really was friends of her family, so when it went Pete Tong, so did the so called friends.. I’m now left as a Dad with 50/50 access to my 10 and 11 yr old boys. My 21/23 yr old daughters have grown up and flown the nest.. I guess others out there are having the same struggle of being a great parent, whilst trying to hold down a job? It doesn’t help that’s it’s a high pressured one, that sometimes needs me to travel..
If anyone in the Nottingham area (or close to it) fancies a catch up about their experiences or even a cheeky drink let me know. No bother if male or female.. It would be great to make a few local friends that have had similar experiences.. Cheers!