I’ve been separated three years but sometimes daily life is just so hard. I work full time and my kids spend far too long at school (with wraparound care). Their behaviour can be emotional and challenging which brings me quite a lot of guilt. Their dad doesn’t see that much of them and the responsibility is often overwhelming and I feel like I’m going crazy. I’ve been waiting for it to get better…… Any tips on how to make life a little easier would be gratefully received
I was recently having this issue and it was bringing me down as a result and making me feel very guilty. I work full time too in a pretty stressful and fast paced job. I found moving jobs closer to home and school has helped immensely. Cutting out the commute to work has enabled me to not have to sit in ridiculous traffic or feel additional stress trying to get to work and wrap around care on time. The reward system is also a great idea and is having a great effect in my home I.e. 20 marbles = a reward or treat which is a great motivator.
Another thing that works well in my house is looking forward to movie nights every Friday. It gives us a nice family activity to look forward to at the start of the week and if behaviour is particularly bad then a fair punishment. Do include your own chill out time after once the kids have gone to bed, wine and a novel/movie even a workout video seems to lift my mood.
There is probably a range of explanations for behaviour challenges but one thing I have started doing every morning is a feelings game on our journey to school and after. It’s pretty simple “I’m feeling…happy, tired, angry, sad… then a reason”
It helps us feel connected, comfortable sharing our feelings and from your end gives an insight into some of your child’s challenges or behaviour.
Lastly just know that you’re not alone. It’s not easy being superwoman and your kids will appreciate your dedication one day.
I have a similar situation and regularly ask the same question. I also rely on after school clubs on certain days, unfortunately whether my daughter wants to do them or not! I agree with a lot of the above, things were chaotic for a while which just adds to the overwhelming sense of it all, so a bit of forward planning on what seems the little things (like that nights meal) really does help. I’ve involved my daughter in everything since she was little, she’s 7 now, and a lot of nights she’ll be peeling and chopping veg whilst I do the dishes, that kind of thing. It also gets her a sticker on her chart for pocket money etc – I had to earn everything as a kid so I’ve carried it on lol. It’s far from perfect but it’s ours.
how old are your kids? You’ll know what they can and can’t get involved with and between you, you can go from there. Feel free to message whenever 😊
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