Any single dads ??

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  • #56956 Report

    Dannyralph86
    Participant

    Hi I’ve just joined this forum, I just need someone to talk to who might be having the same issues or similar.

     

    It’s a very long story and I’d like to keep it as short as possible  as a first post.

    The main reason for joining is I’m just getting close to my capacity for stress right now.

     

    I am a single dad of 2 girls, they are hard work, they don’t see their mum and thanks to court orders no overnight stays no childcare options were allowed due to what they’d been through.

    My ex stopped me seeing them for 5 years, I started seeing them July last year and by October they were living with me so I’m not exactly a pro at this parenting thing but I think I’m smashing it most of the time.

    The biggest issue is finance.

    I worked my whole life and had no choice but to quit when told its either me or care.

    I sold everything I own and stuck with a single vehicle for me and the kids, I was debt free (nearly) about £1200 left, owned 2 cars plus a motorcycle and was renting a single room local to work after the break up in 2015, I was paying child maintenance to my ex as well I wasn’t over spending on things I didn’t need.

    Anyway I lost everything but gained my kids and am so happy about that but I’m struggling, I get no support from all the people who said they would support me, social services closed the case after 7 months and I’ve heard nothing since.

    I now have rent arrears facing loosing my home, bills not being paid, the job center ring me weekly breathing down my neck to get a job but everything I apply for is no good due to school commitments , I’m under allot of pressure to go out and work but there were recommendations from social against long periods of time with child care providers.

    I’m out here doing everything I possibly can and my mental health has taken a bashing, I’m doing my best with no support from friends family or anyone else and the kids are better for it but I’m starting to struggle with everything.

    Is there any other dads struggling to get into work and being treated the way I am?

    It’s like they’ve taken nothing into consideration and treat me like a single man refusing to work or something.

    I have nowhere to turn and nobody to turn to even just to vent my frustration.

    Thanks, hope anything of that makes sense

     

    #56975 Report

    Sue
    Moderator

    Hi Dannyralph86,

    Thanks for posting about your situation – it sounds like it’s been a very difficult time.

    You might find it useful to call our single parent helpline and talk to one of the advisers about your financial situation. They can do a full check to see if there’s any extra financial support you’re entitled to. You can contact the helpline on 0808 802 0925.

    Best wishes,

    Sue

    #56985 Report

    steve3334
    Participant

    Hi,

    Yes work can become big issue after breakup and going through court. I have my kids 2 nights a week, and had to give up full time work, due to grumpy employers not happy with school runs. Had to take self employed route. Delivery work etc. settling for driving instructor. Feel free to message me.

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