Any advice would be appreciated

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  • #47626 Report


    Hello, hope everyone is doing ok.
    I don’t even know where to begin… my ex partner left me and my little girl 2 years ago when she was 2. He left after I found out he’d been leading a double life and cheating on me for years and I confronted him with what I’d found out.
    We had a mortgage together on a 2 bed house we had bought 3 years before our daughter was born. He continued making the payments for approx 14 months after he left (he moved back to his parents initially).
    He kept pressuring me to put the house on the market despite the fact I could not afford to move anywhere on my own as a single parent on a part time wage – at this point our daughter had not started school.
    He then moved in with his girlfriend during the first lockdown and I started paying half the mortgage.
    he then sent me a letter through a solicitor saying if I did not agree to sell he would take me to court to force the sale through. By the point I was paying all of the mortgage and all of the bills and he had agreed to give me a 350 a month for child maintenance. This was a informal arrangement, not done through CMS.
    Even though I was just about affording the mortgage payments on my own, to buy him out and take it over by myself was impossible, the bank simply would not do it on my one wage.
    My new wonderful partner offered to come onto the mortgage with me and together we bought out my ex and paid him off with upwards of 35k which was his half of the equity.

    After several threats to stop paying the £350 in maintenance I approached CMS. They recently decided he should be paying me £470 a month based on his wages and the fact my ex has our daughter for the weekend every fortnight. He is now bombarding me with messages saying that’s too much money etc and has appealed the decision with the cms. He seems to think that the money is a food and clothing allowance and doesn’t understand it goes towards the roof over her head etc. He is bullying me and harassing me over it and pressuring me to close the case. I am at my wits end with him and don’t know who to turn to get it to stop. I’ve just paid him thousands of pounds and released him from any obligation with house. His sole contribution is this money and he can definitely afford it – he has a high flying career in London and drives a Mercedes and spent a month abroad on holiday in the summer but is saying he can’t afford to give me the £120 more that CMS say he should. I just don’t know how to get him to leave me alone and accept the situation.

    #47631 Report


    I think the best solution that may keep both parties if u are agreeable  is : You keep cms involved so you definitely get your money as it stops all the threats not to pay. It would be silly to close case now. You could agree at a slightly lesser amount which could be 350 or 400 so guaranteeing your money and giving him the extra bit back. only an idea if you open a cms case  basically a dad can be asked to pay 470 for example and u could then actually just pay 350 or 400 if other side agree and that would be end of it. only an idea by way

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