Anxious due to my ex getting engaged

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    I split up with my ex and have no desires to rekindle the relationship.  Although it was my decision to split up many years back, it became a mutual one and he admitted in counselling he’d thought of leaving me too before things reached a head.  We get along as well as can be expected and it is to both of our credit that we coparent and share custody without more than slight aggravation with each other from time to time.

    Yesterday he got engaged.  He’s been living with his new partner for a few years and while it made things more awkward, it’d been ok.  The manner in which I found out though just knocked me for six.  Our kid told me before it happened that he was planning it and how excited he was to be getting a stepmother (I need to read him more fairy stories) then yesterday, he went all out on Facebook.  I know I should probably unfriend him but when he normally posts it’s often about our child and I see what they’re up to together so can see photos and ask him about it when my son is back with me but yesterday, there was a joking… “I asked her a question… she said yes” comment then LOADS of pictures of the actual proposal happening (I mean who does that???)

    I can’t rationalise how raw I’m feeling about it.  I genuinely have no feelings for the guy, he’s a great Dad in lots of ways but an absolute knob as a partner.  I was hoping someone can empathise or advise?

    I have history with an anxiety related disorder and this has just kicked off my symptoms.  I’ve had 10 hours (so far) of what feels like an anxiety attack, feeling dizzy, faint and just odd.

    #18437 Report


    Dear Maria123,

    Thank you for sharing your situation on the forum and welcome to our community of single parents.

    It sounds like you’re going through a difficult time and it’s important that you feel supported. We hear what you’re saying and you aren’t alone in how you’re feeling. Please carry on using the forum and chatting to the community, if you find it useful. We’re sure that other parents will be able to share useful and supportive advice,

    Take care and thanks again for reaching out. Best wishes,


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