Anxious and emotional child

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  • #51266 Report

    SarahSisu
    Participant

    Hi all,

    My 10 Yr old son has become very anxious and emotional the last 2 yrs, I’ve tried to see if he needs to be checked for ADD/ADHD etc but since Covid nothing has been done. It feels like a battle every day, trying to help him understand and process his feelings. He’s a loving and sweet boy but his tantrums can be difficult to watch and deal with.

    #51267 Report

    mstime
    Participant

    Hi

    Understand completely. I have a daughter going through this. Its very hard trying to understand. Shes actually at the stage where she barely leaves the house and certainly wont attend school so i know how hard it can be ( 13 when it started,14 now) . I cant offer more than to say keep loving him,keep showing him that hes loved. I get to speak to CAHMS and while my daughter wont engage with them they do give me advice which i carry out. Got the help through my GP who suggested CAHMS.

    #51270 Report

    kathmaria143
    Participant

    To SarahSisu,

    My son has been diagnosed with autism this November. He is 10 yrs old. I have been talking to teachers, Doctors, consultants for years. In the last 2 years a referral was done through the school’s SENco (Senco Coordinator0) Then it got posted and then another referral got done again.

    One teacher spent only 10 minutes with him and said there is something here. I was told by the age of 7-8 yrs old. Children can be referred to get a diagnose. He is now 3 yrs behind. When I questioned why it has taken 3 extra years to get a diagnosis. The consultant said everyone – professionals were being very cautious with this assessment. Await and see approach. The consultant explained to me. In any medical diagnosis, the Doctor has to be absolutely sure if it is that condition or not. A diagnosis or a misdiagnosed can be welcomed or can destroy someone life if it is wrong.

     

    Parents know their children the best. The only comfort I had when facing all these ‘professional’s different views to me was that of ‘Albert Einstein. he only started reading at the age of 7 years old. He was a genius. That was the hope I had. Some children develop later. I know every child is different.

    The sad unspoken truth of this delay of help is down to money. Everyone knows with a diagnosis of how much help that child can get. The school gets £6,000 extra per child with special needs. Even the parent/carer can claim ‘Disability Living Allowance’ on a low, middle or high level. Depending on how much extra support the parent has to give that child.

    It is early day for me. The school has to do a EHCP (<span style=”color: #111111; font-family: Roboto, sans-serif; font-size: 18px; white-space: pre-wrap;”> Education and Health Care Plan) it is a document that sets out the education, healthcare and social care needs of a child or young person for whom extra support is needed in school, beyond that which the school can provide. It was formerly known as a ‘statement of special educational needs’.</span>

    One thing to bear in mind. the chronological age of the/your child is not the same as his/her mental age if they have some kind of special need or even a trait of special needs. For example, my son is 10 yrs old. His mental age is 6 yrs old. In a shop, if he has a tantrum. He is very strong and controlling this situation is very hard. A couple of days ago. I change my sons favourite food of fried fish fingers as he was putting on some weigh. I tried oven cooked and even bought an air dryer to make the food more healthier. I told him no more fish fingers. He was very upset. Even though I offered so many things. I just finished my work. I was wearing a new white blouse. I had a drink of Iru Bru in my car. He got my bottle. He opened it and poured it on the floor, and the rest he throw it on my blouse. He didn’t want to get into my car. What was I suppose to do. I can pick him up. Eventually, he got in the car. The next day he started eating other food. He has straightly calmed down. I didn’t realised fish fingers can cause such anger in a child. Maybe the fish is trying to eat through the bodies fishing net.

    I once heard one express “A lion will eat grass if they are hungry!” Maybe that is what I will try next!

    Keep smiling, Life is tough, we just have to keep fighting!

    Thanks, Katherine,

    I hope this helps,

    I got referred to a do a parenting course called ‘Incredible Years for Autism. To learn strategies to handle change, new food, tantrums…

     

    #51273 Report

    Gummibear123
    Blocked

    Hi.

    A lot of kids with autism have dietary intolerances/sensitivities Plus sensory difficulties.Either hyper or hypo.Or both.Or sometimes one and Sometimes the other.or different each day.This may explain why they get very attached to foods with certain textures or they can be very picky/poor eaters.As you probably already know routine and predictability are the most important things in their lives and if you take that away e.g. By changing a favourite food ,they will panic and get very frustrated.Which will act out in bad behaviour tantrums etc.The quickest way to get help is (privately financed perhaps using DLA) Occupational Therapy. I know this because I’ve had a few years experience in this department.It would be helpful to remember as well that most geniuses throughout history would be labelled today as autistic.while obviously he must be taught certain skills to manage his life,If your son had a talent-mathematical,artistic,musical or anything else it would be wonderful if he could have the chance to shine at that instead of being made to struggle to keep up with the ‘average for age’ bla bla.Please don’t be scared off by labels or dire predictions from professionals!!

    #51274 Report

    Gummibear123
    Blocked

    Oh whoops sorry Sarahsisu,no disrespect intended,went off on a tangent there!

    I have a son of 10 as well.How bad is the anxiety and emotional bit?

    #51275 Report

    Metalmonk70
    Participant

    Only thing I know on this subject…tell your son as often as possible, “I love you”…end every difficult situation with an “I love you “, and at least once a day say, “thank you for being my son”…

     

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