Anxiety and loneliness
25 September 2019 at 10:38 pm #30763
I am interested in finding out what helps you with anxiety and loneliness.
I have been a single parent for 2 and a half years. At first I knew it would be hard and back in January when the divorce came through I felt lighter, I knew where I stood (he left and lied and moved in with a friend) But there hasn’t been a dramatic improvement in life, I work from home a lot of the time and am struggling to find my way. I feel anxious and overwhelmed a lot of the time, I feel lonely and friends seem to be busy. they were great when it was really hard but everyone thinks I am okay now. I have been feeling lower and lower and totally exhausted, life just feels like a real struggle.26 September 2019 at 9:59 am #30768
Hi there. We’re all different in how we deal with things. For me, I found talking about it; Not always easier said than done and usually its not about getting advice but just to sound off about how you’re feeling. I also found swimming and walking helped massively. I’ve not swam as much this year as I have ever I think. By the sounds of it you are at home alot. I like being home but the thought of not getting out and about I find quite suffocating. If you’re not ok, I’d suggest talking to your friends again.Let them know how you feel. I ended up having some counselling, which I had to pay for but it was well worth it and I felt I just needed it at that time. Waiting weeks and weeks for an nhs appointment just wouldn’t have worked for me. Always happy to chat.26 September 2019 at 11:16 am #30772
Thanks Winnie, I have joined a gym but have had a nasty virus which is making me feel really yuck for the last week, so I haven’t been able to go. Your right I think I need to tweak the balance of time at home and getting out.28 September 2019 at 9:04 pm #30881
No problem, sometimes I find what works one day doesn’t always work on another but the gym is good. Sometimes just lying down for 10 or 15 minutes helps me focus. Hope you’re feeling better and are having a nice weekend.28 September 2019 at 11:58 pm #30883
The first two years of my seperation i spent with my kids and rebuilding our new home.
I moved completely out of the area that destroyed me, my hopes for a family. I started at a new church which led to me getting involved in the local regeneration.
I then started with open University which was mainly home studies with some day school. Getting out of the new area and in a classroom was rewarding.
At the moment I’m anxious to move. Not just to move but to find a house. I’ve started wanting on a relationship again but struggled with friends in my area. I tend to socialize, if thats what you call it, with the more matute people.
Everythings getting to me at the moment i just feel blah….its a horrible feeling and tough one to shake.29 September 2019 at 10:57 am #30891
I suffer with stress and anxiety too,I also dont have family(freinds cant always speak to if busy.)I looked in phone book about 2 weeks ago and found number for Samaritans,I can honestly say thats 1 of the best things I ever did,as they are very understanding and sympathetic,ive spoken to them 4 times,they are all very kind and will talk things through,also they dont rush you at all,and most importantly you can call day or night,hope this helps.Im here for chat today too until 4/4.30,as am dog sitting,they have wi fi you see :-).xx29 September 2019 at 11:04 am #30893
I am too a single mum of 1.what area do you live in,just wondered if there could be any single parent groups you could join,maybe even a Gingerbread 1,which you could eventually make freind or freinds who hopefully should also be understanding of your situation.x29 September 2019 at 2:08 pm #30902
Rekindling old hobbies and trying to find people in similar situations is a good start I found. I’ve started studying again in the evenings to keep me occupied has put me in touch with many people studying the same, and just taken up indoor climbing again when my son took an interest. As cliche as it sounds there is a lot to be said for keeping busy, as its when you have time to dwell that loneliness hits you.
Anxiety can be specific but dealing with the unknown I’ve found that is the hardest part. So quantifying the unknown and listing what you are anxious about and finding out as much as you can empowers you then take steps to resolve or mitigate what you are worried about, or realise you don’t have to worry about it as it was not relevant to your situation.29 September 2019 at 7:08 pm #30906
Let me know when you find a solution! I haven’t managed to figure it all out just yet. Being lonely is hard and being single sucks 🤷🏼♀️29 September 2019 at 10:42 pm #30908
There is a group called Spice and social-circle that have indoor and outdoor activity30 September 2019 at 10:43 am #30935
Thanks Winne, yes I think that is true, some days things don’t phase me, other days they really do. I am feeling a little more positive so far this week. I rested all of sunday and have made it to the gym today.30 September 2019 at 10:47 am #30936
Hi Liane, I know I was lucky I didn’t have to move area, and have built on friendships but friends with partners have different times free, which is the challenge. I went out at the weekend but felt separate as there was lots of drinking and drugs and I just don’t want to do that, so getting out and dancing was great but I was distanced from those I was with. I need to find a couple more friends with similar interests for those long weekends when the kids are away.30 September 2019 at 10:50 am #30937
Thanks Jorgie, I didn’t think of the smaritains as I don’t feel I need it as much as some but there are times when it is really overwhelming and just having someone know how I felt may help.
I am in Cornwall and there don’t seem to be any local groups.30 September 2019 at 10:56 am #30944
Thanks Welshdad, I think I need to do that more, listing everything and then prioritising but sometimes its just stuck in a loop and hard to catch and pin down.
I had an injury a couple of years ago which stopped me being able to do a lot of sports but I have had an op and my fitness is returning so that is something that hopefully will keep improving. There just seems to be so much to manage and get on with and I often leave organising things for me to do until I have spent all my energy on kids and work.
I am going to try and not dwell and if I feel it sneaking up on me do a simple task and see if that helps…30 September 2019 at 11:00 am #30947
ChasingHappiness, no real solutions but lots ideas from the people here. I think I need to accept that sometimes it is going to feel awful and try and remember that these feelings do pass, be kind to myself and remember that I have felt like this before and then the clouds do lift a little… Although I don’t like feeling lonely and alone I really don’t think I would want a bf at the moment, I want to be in a better place and stonger in myself as I had been part of a couple for 18 yrs!