Another narcissistic ex

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  • #40797 Report

    A76
    Participant

    Hello I’ve just joined, I’m a single mum of two amazing kids, who are 10 and 7. I thought I had the worst ex ever, but a quick look through some of the other posts and I realise I’m not alone sadly!
    I cannot co parent with my kids father,  as much as I’ve tried. He has them alternate weekends and more or less half the school holidays. Contact Between us is minimal and strained. I ended the relationship almost 6 years ago after a huge show down where he shouted at me in front of the kids and almost knocked me down the stairs, they were traumatised, and I told him to leave and he went.
    We then fell into a verbal arrangement which remained in place until the lockdown. I’m asthmatic and so am shielding and have been home with the kids since lockdown started. He kept contact via face time and spoke to the kids through the window on 4 occasions.
    He then recently asked to take them for a walk. I asked him to wear a mask.. over cautious perhaps, but it’s a big step for me and I am vulnerable, I didn’t think it was unreasonable. He refused however and has now started with allegations the children are suffering mentally and emotionally and has accused me of locking them up. He has also said he thinks the children should live with him. Not something the children would want as they too have a difficult relationship with him. I’ve now resorted to getting legal advice.
    This evening he face timed the kids, he likes to grill them over their school work and what they’re doing tmrw, which of course they won’t know until I set the work from the school for them to do. My daughter didn’t have much of an answer so I thought I’d help by saying they’ll be doing the work set by the school, however he cut in as I was speaking and asked my daughter again what work she would be doing!
    He went on to suggest her iPod must be faulty because she hasn’t received photos of his new house, or suggested there’s only problem when he texts her! The insinuation is obvious! I didn’t comment however.
    I learnt long ago not to show him any emotion. He is a bully, a selfish spiteful man who only thinks of himself and not the children. If I told my kids they had to go and live with their dad they would have a complete melt down! I know he’s using the kids as a weapon against me, he’s always done it, because he knows losing my kids is my greatest fear. I am trying to stay strong, but given this is all happening in and because of the pandemic, it is really hard. I am alone in this.

    #40803 Report

    krambern
    Participant

    I hope you win the full custody to the kids. Narcissistic parents are incapable of loving their own children as they are users and their values are rotten. Glad my kids are with me and the narcissistic is still busy womanizing around and don’t care about parenting even a bit.

    #42541 Report

    Amsterdam
    Participant

    Hi @krambern

    how did you win full custody of your children?

    @anne76 I’m in the same situation only been separated two years and hearing that this relationship with Narcissistic dad never ends is so frustrating. What are we doing wrong? Showing that the children are the most important aspect of our life?
    my ex got a girlfriend one week after I kicked him out and she’s about to have a baby. I was hoping this would happen so I could get rid of him for good. But his awful behavior towards me and the children doesn’t stop!

    #42542 Report

    angella
    Participant

    I trust you win the full guardianship to the children. Narcissistic guardians are unequipped for cherishing their own youngsters as they are clients and their qualities are spoiled. Happy my children are with me and the narcissistic is as yet caught up with womanizing around and couldn’t care less about child rearing even a piece.

    Marriage counselling 

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