I have recently separated from my husband and have two children. I don’t know if it’s the whole lock down situation having gone on too long but I have no patience of late and find myself shouting at my children who are pushing their luck with things. I would never hurt them or anything but I don’t know how to discipline them and just get frustrated. I then just feel constantly guilty for shouting at them which must be awful for them. Has anyone got any tips or coping techniques?
yes they can wind you up at times. breaking up fights is most annoying for me haha. have a look on youtube. theres lot of tips. channel called live on purpose tv is good. also I recommend you try wim hof breathing. 10 minutes. very good for stress-relief.
I find it’s about getting out of that mindset where one can only see the bad stuff that’s happening, this feeds the negative attention loop.
I had looked at lot of books about discipline, asked people but a book called Calmer Easier Happier Parenting, by Noel Janis-Norton, helped me and my son a lot (when I remember to use the techniques!!) She recommends a first stage of descriptive praise, so noticing all the things, big and SMALL that your child does of the particular areas of behaviour you are wanting more of in them. For example I wanted more co-operation (kind of the foundation isn’t it really!) and so I tuned in to times when my son did these things. AND importantly give more detailed praise than just ‘well done’ but an explanation of why it was good. That’s the 1st stage, I didn’t get any further, lol.
This is an incentive for me to pick this up again.
Steve Biddolph has lots of fans for his books too.
I lose it with my son a lot of the time, it is so tough now isn’t it?
Expectation management is good too. And of course making some time, however small, to come back to you. Personally for me right now it’s the tedium of always relating on a kid’s level. Much as this can be fun, I miss adult company and chat, my mind needs this.
Connecting with nature is a good stress relief too.
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