Ambiguous Child Arrangement Order

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  • #50148 Report


    I was wondering if anyone could offer any advice on my situation.

    I have a child arrangement order which has been in place since September last year. It basically states we have 7 days each out if 14. This has been an informal arrangement for years but I felt I wanted it putting in writing as she has taken days off me in the past (EG they used to come to me every Sunday night but now it’s every other Sunday, I used to pick up from school every Friday, now it’s every other Friday) This way she can’t change the arrangements without going through the proper channels.

    The issue is school holidays. She has told the CSA I only have them 1 week out of 13 and she has them the rest of the time. Obviously this is not true and never has been. I was told by CSA the only way to alter the decision was to get a court order, which I did.

    The court order I have says that it is ordered that I have 4 weeks of the year (easter, 2 weeks in summer and autumn half term) with the kids and then it goes on to talk about the day to day arrangements and then nothing else. So, the court order actually says nothing about the rest of the school holidays.

    In my opinion the sensible thing to do, would be to let my ex have the kids when she is off work, let me have the kids during my assigned weeks and share the rest. In her head the sensible thing to do is keep the kids with her the whole holiday regardless if she is working or not.

    I know If she allows me to have them during the holidays when she is working it’s definitely 50/50 and she knows that I won’t have to pay her maintenance  any more so she’ll never allow that to happen by trying to have a rational discussion.

    It came to a head last week when she missed the normal drop off time and kept the kids with her. I’ve told her I’ve no choice but to report a breach of the court order as shes refused to talk to me about it and won’t tell me what weeks off she has booked.

    Is there any way I can resolve this? It’s not so much about the money but, if this carries on I won’t be seeing them for a 4 week stretch over Summer which is honestly awful to think about.

    #50154 Report



    if the order is vaguely worded then I can imagine CMS being difficult with it. they would consider it a 50/50 arrangement if it clearly states both parents have equal day to day care of children.

    has she stopped you seeing the children completely now? if so then I don’t there’s much option than for you to enforce the order.

    #50156 Report


    Hi Steve, Not stopped me seeing them completely, just kept them that day/night.

    This is why I’m in two minds about enforcing the order. I’m not sure what will happen if i do, will we end up back in court? If that is the case it may be a good thing as it might clear up the issue once and for all.

    She never kept the kids from me during the holidays before the court order was put in place. We shared them equally apart from if either one of us were taking them away. In fact, she insisted on it being that way.

    #50157 Report


    I also have a letter from CSA asking me to clarify what happens during the holidays but I’ve not responded yet as I was hoping to clear up what was happening definitively.

    She apparently doesn’t want my money but is also refusing to talk to me.

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