Am I wrong to stop my ex visiting the kids at my house?

[Blah57]

My ex insists on seeing our children at my house only. He has a flat that he used to take the older kids to but refuses to do that any more I’m really struggling now its lockdown as he turns up in the morning and doesn’t leave until after tea (so around 6.30). So he’s pretty much here all day. He says his flat is not suitable for the kids to be in as it’s damp which is true, but it’s also dirty because he can’t be bothered to clean it. (If he cleaned it would be fine!) I suggested he just popped in for a couple of hours in the afternoon or take the kids to his place or out if he wants to see them for longer, but he makes me feel like I’m stopping him seeing them which I don’t want at all. I just really can’t cope with him being at my house acting like he lives here I find him very draining to be around. Surely I should be able to have my house as my own. We’ve been split up for about two years but this has been a constant battle.

[Kathymumofone]

You definitely do not need to let him into your home. It is up to him to make arrangements for his access.

My ex does this and I have allowed it because he lives 85 miles away and I don’t want my son spending 3 hours every Sunday on the motorway. I cope because I either go out or mow the lawn.

After lockdown ends, I’m going to change things because my son is growing up and he wants to do more active stuff.

[Greenfingers]

I agree with kathy, you shouldn’t be hosting your ex partner If you don’t feel comfortable with it and nor is it your responsibility to find a solution to the problem he has. If the shoe was on the other foot, you’d find a way around it, especially if it was your contact at stake

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