Am I dead inside?
9 September 2019 at 1:12 pm #30175
First-time post so here is some brief background. I’m 37 and been single for over 3 years, I have my daughter every weekend, which has given me some freedom to date again. Took me some time to get over the separation (although amicable and no cheating) and the shock of all that change, but it has driven my daughter an I to have an amazing bond.
I’ve met some great women, a couple in-particular that I look back on and make me think along the lines of the post title. I had a 6 month long relationship with the 2nd of the two mentioned, which I kept going longer than I perhaps should have in the hope my heart would get in line with my brain. This woman had twin girls a few months older than my daughter, she was fun, local, pretty, everything I want, so why couldn’t I love her?
More of these types of situations have come and gone so I’ve come to the worrying conclusion that I might actually be broken. The love I have for my daughter is as strong as I’d ever wish, people see it between us when we are together, but this is different to the love I want to find with a partner as you know.
The details might be different, but does anyone else worry that they might not be capable of getting to the point where they can truly feel love and the happiness that goes with it?
Would also love to hear from anyone that might have felt like this for a similar or longer period of time and found love.
Keith9 September 2019 at 6:00 pm #30186
How are you? Ive been single for years. Never had a long term relationship really so i know no different. Wasnt with my sons Dad properly but he doesnt wanna know his son
Im happy on my own atm but just want a better social life when my Mum has my son
It just sounds like it wasnt maybe meant to be with the woman you were seeing or not right time but yes as you say would be nice to be with someone and have that love. However atm i dont want anyone rly in mine or my sons life so i guess im stopping any potential relationship. I cant meet people like i used to, guess its most online but not all sure thats how i like to meet someone9 September 2019 at 6:58 pm #30187
Love yourself first 😊10 September 2019 at 12:22 pm #30207
I relate to much of what you say so you’re not alone. I was hugely betrayed during my 16 year relationship, and this has left its mark. I feel I’m a product of my experiences. The love I have for my children is immense, I don’t expect to have that level of attachment to anyone else in my life. They are very special.
However, after 2 years of single life (by choice), I met a really great guy. I got butterflies and giddy again like I used to many many years ago (as teen). I have to say he’s the nearest I’ve come to ever loving someone, but still I have this defensive guard and I’m not sure why this is. I too might be broken as a consequence of my past. I know I’m capable of loving because of the feelings I have for the children. I don’t think I ever truly loved my ex partner if I’m honest, I just settled and that was my mistake. If my current partner disappeared from my life tomorrow then I’d be upset but I’d crack on because I won’t put myself in a vulnerable position again. But then that maybe why the love I have is limited? Maybe we just need the right person and time? I’m happy that I’ve found someone who demands little of me, both time and emotionally, hopefully that guard will come down and the love/trust will grow10 September 2019 at 8:23 pm #30215
I think the phrase ‘Once bitten, twice shy’ springs to mind.
I think the more people you date (and break up with) you subconciously become more and more cautious.
Like you said this woman ticked all the right boxes. Pretty. Tick. Good with children. Tick.
Have you ever gone into a supermarket with a list and come out with exactly what you planned on buying? (If so you have more willpower than I do) 😂
My point is although she was perfect on paper the chemistry was not right. It happens. Someday you will meet someone and you will know.
Or keep it simple and stay single like me. Its safer and a lot more simple! 😂😂👍