Am I being unreasonable

[MinibinzerParticipant]

I have shared parenting with my ex, he moved out  6 weeks ago, but moved in with our eldest daughter who is married with 3 kids, and lives in a 2 bed first floor flat! Our 12 year old twin daughters spend every weekend with him but they have to sleep on the floor of the kids bedroom !!! He sat in mediation last May and said he would look for his own flat but has still failed to find anywhere…am I being unreasonable thinking this is not an appropriate arrangement ???? Feeling very stressed x

[BluebirdSueParticipant]

It is far from ideal but securing a tenancy is not as easy as it used to be. You need a deposit first off all and its hard to save up money. Then you may need a guarantor plus all the other moving costs.

I’m sure he will find a place to live when the time comes. I don’t think as a grown men he wants to share with his daughter

[MinibinzerParticipant]

Thanks for reply, I appreciate it’s not easy finding private rent but he’s know for nearly a year that it would happen, he was even told by our local authority they would help him with a deposit scheme so it’s not like he’s not got help, he’s also a shareholder in his family’s business but they haven’t helped out at all !!!

[SOLOMUMMYParticipant]

It’s not just securing a tenancy it’s finding one large enough within his financial capabilities.  He’d not be entitled to any local authority support if not seeking one bed, which isn’t ideal either as the situation would still be floor camping just at a different venue.

[MinibinzerParticipant]

I totally get that, but he’s working full-time and as I said has a fifth sharehold in his family’s property business ! So it’s not like he’s destitute. I just don’t think it’s appropriate that my nearly teenager daughters are sleeping on blankets on the floor of my grandchildren bedroom 😕

[SOLOMUMMYParticipant]

However being a shareholder doesn’t mean he has liquid assets just that he’s proportionately asset rich!

It’s not ideal but neither I imagine in his mind was having to leave the family home which I presume he was either a tenant or owned/mortgaged on.

If you have a joint mortgage maybe sorting that and giving him a share that gets him liquid assets sooner is the way to go.

[RamblinjonParticipant]

Hiya, short term it’s not ideal but not yet a major concern, if I were in his shoes I would definitely want my own place as it’s bound to be awkward for him so I doubt if it will go on indefinitely. Your twins my also decide that they would be move comfortable with you and that might force the issue. So for the moment it might be best if you don’t kick off too much about it.

Mark

[MinibinzerParticipant]

Thanks for replies, will just have to bite my tongue for now and hope he sorts himself out sooner rather than later for our girls sakes. And for our eldest daughter, it can’t be easy for her but I can’t talk to her about it as she has nothing to do with me 😞

[MinibinzerParticipant]

And we were joint tenants, had to go to court to sort it out x

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