Am I being taken advantage of?

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  • #43358 Report


    Hi All, I hope everyone is keeping well throughout these uncertain times we are all facing.

    I am new to this forum and I need some emotional support.

    My ex and I were together for just over 2-years and I have recently have a bouncy baby boy who is almost 3-months old. I am a HCA within the NHS and I am wanting to return back to work soon. I asked the other parent if he could support me financially with childcare and immediately he refused stating he has no money. I tried a few times, £30 per week to be precise.

    Cut a long story short, I then made a case with CMS as I know the other parent is more than able to support me but is just refusing to provide for his child. CMS got in contact with him via letter and telephone call. Ever since all hell has broken loose. He lies stating he has the child overnight which is impossible as he works nights shifts 5- nights a week and I am exclusively breastfeeding. He has asked me to lie to CMS stating he has the child to reduce his payments. This hasn’t even been calculated yet as it only been a few weeks since I made the claim. His latest get out of jail card is that he is now refusing the child is his all so he does not have to pay.


    He contacts me everyday, pressuring me to drop the case, even getting his family involved.  I am stressed out and have had enough. I feel like cancelling the case, but then he wins.


    my question is, is it wrong to pressure someone to cancel a CMS claim? I feel bullied. I just do not know what to do.


    Please any advice will help, Thank you x


    #43363 Report


    Hi, I’m sorry your in such a stressful situation.

    It’s a parents duty to pay for a child they helped great even if they are never around. It’s ok to feel bad but you need the money to raise your child properly so that has to come first without a doubt.

    You wouldn’t have had to go through courts and stuff if he was willing to pay his way

    #43368 Report


    My advice: don´t give up!. The problem is that the bully usually wins. Continue with what is best for you and don´t answer any other calls. Good luck!!

    #43378 Report


    Thank you both for your comments. I have taken what you have both said on board, I should fight for what is right and I believe I shouldn’t feel bad for doing the right thing.

    #43379 Report


    You’re doing the right thing and if he continues to harass you report him to the police you shouldn’t have to put up with being bullied by him or his family.

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